So my report card came in today and as usual, i got all As(i work super hard at my prep school)....so when my dad comes home he talks to me and my sister outside and says, "you know girls, i read your report cards and, i am really proud of you both....and i know that you will be going into high school soon, and considering my current state of money..."so at this point i was thinking FOR SURE he will get us a phone because he brought it up a couple times before when something happened were we needed to call someone and we couldn't. and i don't even really care about having my own phone that much, its just that i kinda need one for school(we walk) and to call the police or 911 if my mom leaves us without her phone.so, of course i became really excited, then he said,"And as far as college goes, you would need a scholarship so you don't have to pay back a 10,00 dollar student loan for the next ten years of your life....So lets say that there are 7 people wanting to get a scholarship( all having the same grades) and 1 plays a sport. Now which one do you think will get the scholarship?" by now i knew where he was going with this because he brings it up every time he gets drunk, so i answer,"the one with the best grades"he says,"nope,the one who plays sports." my dad was a jock growing up and all he wants is for me to become a jock too, but i hate jocks and he knows that. i don't like to fight with people just so i get the personal satisfaction of thinking that i am better than them, i am not naturally competitive, at all. he continues,"the chick who plays water polo is going to get the scholarship. playing a sport will save you thousands of dollars, it will save ME thousands of dollars."
then he goes on to say that ever since we were little, he thought we would grow up to be all-stars(i could bat like nobody's business when i was 5, but not anymore)i never really like sports, i didn't want to be "better" than anyone either, i have always liked art and loved to draw since i was little and even though i still have no idea of what my career might be when i grow up, i always dreamed that i could become an artist. And the whole time he is talking i am thinking of how ashamed of me he would be if i told him that i want to go to an art school...
Then he walked away to eat and left me severely disappointed and worried that he would be disappointed if i grew up and wasn't some successful, pro softball player that went to college for some really hard and boring subject that is umteen syllables long and not possible to pronounce correctly on the first 3 tries....
anyways, i am really really sorry to rant right now and no one will probably even read to the end, but if you did, it really means a lot to me right now.
-trying not to cry,
Radio Cow
