I miss my grandpa.

Seeing the contest of MCR for the TBP's 5th anniversary. I just had the urge to tell them this. It's okay if I don't win. I just wanted to share this to them....

My Story:

@MCRofficial #TheBlackParade I am not sure if the contest is still existing, but I am here to tell you guys my fave song on the album. (This will be really looong.. :) ) I have often said that TBP is the most important album for me, because this is the era when I was introduced to the band. My first round of listening to it, I instantly fell in love with Disenchanted. Now, what I love the most is CANCER. Why? Witnessing someone you truly care about lying on the hospital bed, slowly being swallowed by this disease and can't even speak is truly heartbreaking. (That's why I can truly say that this song has a special place in my heart) My grandfather (father's side) died with this sickness. What makes it more sad is the fact that when he passed, I was not able to see him or even say anything to him for the very last time due to the fact that I am studying my college degree in a very far place from my hometown. Being the eldest among the grandchildren, I was really torn apart, just thinking about it makes me so emotional. I remember when my mom (my dad can't because he is still recovering from losing his dad) broke the news to me the next day after his passing, (we are having classes then, after finals though)(via phone) I was trembling and crying so hard. At first, I was really confused because they can't even say it to me directly, they just asked me when will I be going back etc. I thought that my grandpa's days are truly numbered that we are all invited to say something before he passed. But, that was not the case. My mom told me to try to calm down because they don't want me to have anxiety attacks again, so I went inside the classroom but tears fell like waterfalls, uncontrollable. I asked my professor to please have me excused for I need to go home. After a 4 hr bus drive I was there, seeing him inside that white casket made me feel so numb. I don't know what to feel. Should I be sad because we are left behind? Should I be happy because he is not suffering anymore and he is with Him finally? Or should I be both?. A year has passed now, still we miss him so bad. But, we are not sad anymore. We know that he is in a happy place now and I know that he doesn't want us to feel that way. There's a wonderful memory of him that I will forever treasure; and that is when I had my 18th birthday and he was my first dance for the 18 roses. That was the very last time we talked. Everybody in this world would hurt because of the loss of someone due to cancer. I do understand the pain that we may go through. But, can we understand THEIR pain? This song truly expresses what they are battling against. It would be harder for them to leave knowing that their loved ones are hurt seeing them go. I am not saying that we should lose hope or anything; but we should try and learn to accept things and be stronger for them. I am sure that they will forever be here, as our angels. "Miss you Lolo! (Grandfather in Filipino) We love you!"

xo
-Aui