This is my extremely long story. (Yes it's true and I'm not proud of what ive done but it's to help other killjoys)

My story (IT'S TRUE)

Dear any Killjoys out there that have been feeling depressed, there is one bit of advice i will always give after recent events, never ever resort to the things I did. It didn't turn out well and now councilling is happening and it's the worst thing ever, but this is the entire reason as this is my story;

I was sitting in my room and then my phone went and it was my dad, I had told him I wasn't going down anymore because of my step mum she said I was worthless and was talking shit about my mum, so I just gave up. My dad started calling me a liar and other things but I was only saying the truth. I got so annoyed and hung the phone up on him, this really made me angry and upset, I loved my dad and always will but he crossed the line and I started self harming for the first time. I became addicted to the pain and did it most nights to let the stress away. One night though, this night was the worst night of my entire life so far. My step mum had phoned my mum and called her everything under the sun, some names I never want to repeat in my life and this made me angry and then I took the phone and started saying to her not to talk to my mum that way but she started on me but known me I couldn't take the pressure and started crying and ran not my room.
About a week later I was asked to go not town with some friends and the guy I have liked for a good few months and have been best friends with him for four years but he liked my other friend Nina. That day in town I  trusted Nina and and told her I liked him and she laughed at me and said i wasn't good enough for him and maybe I wasn't but what the hell and then she went and told everyone and I was extremely pissed as she told him too. Then she started flirting with him right in front of my and this made me mad, sad and depressed but I couldn't show that as we were in the middle of town. Later that night my step phoned again, Abusing my mum again and this was just the tip of everything and I was in the worst mood ever and ran straight into my room crying and on a road to destroy everything, my mum came in about five minutes later but by this time I was extremely depressed and my mum told me she was going to my aunts because my auntie wanted to know what happened cause my family are extremely nosey. I wondered about the house for ages, I was alone with knives I knew this wasnt good but I couldn't help myself and I picked up the sharpest knife from the kitchen drawer and started, I was cutting again. It didn't hut anymore and I wasn't looking at what I was doing and I felt a rush of warm liquid run from my wrist and passed out.
I woke up a good few hours later to be in a strange White room with lots of people sitting around me and I was instantly attacked into a hug, by my mum. She told me about a million times how much she loved me and never wanted me gone. This made me think about everything, I was wrong no matter how much your parents seem to not want you around, they will always love you. After the hugging stopped I realised I was hooked up to an oxygen tank and had lots if tiny wires coming from out my wrist and arms, I had went too far. A nurse came in and told me I was 3% of the 6 million people who try to commit suicide in the world that lived. I was also going to need to have a blood transaction where I get someone else's blood into my body, I needed this to survive my entire life. 

The message I'm trying to get across here is don't self harm everyone loves you inside and out no matter how you're feeling talk to someone close to you or even a fellow killjoy or even me, I know how it feels, I know what it's like to be hated and unloved but trust me violence isn't the answer if you want to end up like me not being able to do any proper sports anymore, even running or even worse dead? No, and no one else wants you dead and just remember this world Is a better place with each and every single person in it, I came to that realisation last night when every killjoy was there for me and remember we're here for you no matter what. This is a life changing experience, I'm only 13 and I'm writing this for the good of everything so just remember, your not in this alone!