trying to stay sane

NO_POINT_sweety...'s picture

trying to stay sane

I'm trying to stay sane but it is very hard. I was very unstable when I was a teenager. I did several institutions and therapies. When I was 18 I went living on my own. It was in a kind of home for people who lived in psychiatric hospitals and couldn't go back to where they lived before they were in the hospital . I couldn't afford a regular place to live. My parents were in money trouble and had taken all the money from my bills to buy food and pay the bills. The reason why i went living on my own is that my mom is bipolar and my dad psychotic. My mom can get really paranoid because my father and I understand each other very well. They take care of me but I become unstable again because they are.
I went back to my parents because I missed them a lot. When I visited them on sundays it felt so good and home-like.
The good thing of being unstable is that I found my creativity back. I missed that. I have way more fun but also way more pain. The bad thing is all the obvious and way more. (I made that drawing. ) In a way I like being unstable. I feel like myself again. Before I felt like an empty brainwashed person with all the things they told in therapy. I don't really have anyone to take to. My parents forbade me to talk with my sister about the problems. She is in college. And my friends have troubles of their own.
It is snowing here a lot and my boss gave me a day off. I don't want to stay home with my parents now. The situation is miserable at the moment. My dad has lost his sister and work a while ago. He became depressed on top of al the other things.

Oh well, everyone has troubles and pleasures. If you have no ups and downs, then you're dead. I want a tattoo of the second image, because it's the image that says that you're dead without ups and downs.