is it good or bad? I just want advice... please? no..? ok then :/

MyBulletProofHeart15's picture

is it good or bad? I just want advice... please? no..? ok then :/

I just realized that.... I dont care anymore.my best friend, after everything this past summer, I realized I dont care about her anymore like I used to. I mean, I got to the point were I literally meant it when I told her I would run away with her. when I told her I would be there for her, and that she was the only one who could understand me. But now.. I barely finished my first week of school, and she has gotten into drugs, and it just disappoints me.. and well now, when I hear of her on Facebook or something, I have the urge to roll my eyes. I just dont care. and even the people that have been there for me till the end, and that are STILL there for me, they annoy me. I guess its good that I'm not depending on anybody anymore, but at the same time I want to go back to who I was. and have a good time with my best friend, and everybody else. I mean, I spent about 2 days upset with Victoria (my best friend) and after that, I started acting like my normal self, all giggles and smiles and stupid stuff. except that I'm faking it. and for the first time I realize... just HOW HARD it is to fake a smile... to hide what you're really feeling, it eats me up... it really really really does hurt. I dont know how people can do it for so long. should I keep it up.. or just stop talking to her? or... what?