Waiting Is So Fucking Hard

momiji_neyuki's picture

Waiting Is So Fucking Hard

I am still trying to be good and wait until MCR officially puts out the last two songs from Conventional Weapons tomorrow. I know I could cheat and check out downloads from people who already received their copies, but the pain of waiting can be so rewarding.

In other news part of my life is really starting to suck again. Work is good though. I got a .30 raise and I exceeded expectations! That made me feel really good considering my depression in December and not having a car, walking to work along with my thoughts of suicide. Most of things are fixed now, but I am starting to get depressed again and this time it is my husband.

I don;t know what is wrong with him, but he is so blank and devoid of emotion lately. He had two seizures on Monday and ended up in the hospital. After that he was just blank and it made no sense to me. Forgive the TMI, but he has not even touched me or kissed me since Sunday. This is very unusual in our relationship. Nothing I do seems to get him interested. With already low self-esteem and low self-worth, I really did not need more of a reason to hate myself.

I know this sounds a little silly and dramatic to some of you, but as you get older this kind of thing becomes important and no amount of reassurance works sometimes. Oh well enough ranting, enjoy the pics.