I Feel Better Now

momiji_neyuki's picture

I Feel Better Now

For the past two days i could not breathe. I did not want to eat, I did not want to sleep, i was numb. This was not all because of MCR either. My children are being threatened to take them away form me and I was a mess. When I lost the music i turn to to support me, I had nothing. I lost it at work and had to be sent home because i was crying on the register. All I wanted was closure. I stopped listening to the music too and turned to Greenday instead. it was not the same support, but it was part of my three life bands so it worked. I could not sing along to anything though and songs took on new meaning. I even put all my MCR stuff away in a draw free from view and took all my pics and hid them in a folder. I even changed my desk top pic. I was a fucking wreck.

Today on the way home from work I was listening to Greenday and "Last Day On Earth" came on. I listened and found myself singing. I was singing to MCR and the chorus just rang out.

"My beating heart belongs to you.
I walked for miles till i found you.
I'm here to honor you, if i lose everything in the fire,
I'm sending all my love to you."

All I wanted was to hear from one of the guys, preferably Gerard, and find out something. A letter of some sort like i would send them. I got my wish when i went home.

I read Gee's letter and smiled. I loved it. It was perfect, it was fucking beautiful, and it was so Gerard. A love letter to us letting us down gently. I hated thinking about him struggling at bamboozle last year. It broke my heart. We all know what the music means to him and he should not be acting for anyone. After I got to the end I shared it with my husband. Then I put the music back on and The Sharpest Lives rang out. Each song had a new meaning and the lyric so much more now. i even made it through Cancer, The World is Ugly, and Black Parade.

I am proud to be one of the original kids from yesterday, i proud to be an MCrmy brat, I am proud to be a Killjoy. I am proud to be an My Chemical Romance fan and i always will be.

Long Live the Black Parade
Keep Running and Die with Your Mask On

***Venomous Eyes Out***