Whole Once Again

MidnightVenom's picture

Whole Once Again

So when I got the news Friday (well, technically it was Saturday, but who really cares about the details?) at about 12:30am. And I was devastated. Completely heartbroken. I mean, my favorite band had broken up. Who wouldn't be devastated and heartbroken? And I know that thousands of other people did feel the same way. But what hurt the most was the way I heard the news. It wasn't that I found out in a harsh way (I found out through YouTube comments, then checking the post here) but the way it was delivered.

I love these guys. Even though I don't know them and have never met them, I feel like they are my family and friends. They're my support group. But the clipped, formal six sentence paragraph? That was rough. Really rough. I felt like everything lost all meaning. The guys were broken up, and so was everything I stood for. To me, it seemed like they just stopped caring. It was the paragraph that made me feel that way. When you read it, did it not feel like a slap in the face? And not just because of the contents? It seemed like a hole had ripped through me and like my whole support group was gone. I felt abandoned. I felt betrayed. The over-whelming hurt that they would do something like this was something I couldn't cope with. I had to restrain myself from bursting into tears all weekend. I was a depressed, anxious mess. (I really did have an anxiety attack.) I lost all hope in ever being truly happy again.

But then, at about 9:30 tonight, I went on Twitter and saw something that made me cry. Something that made me cry tears of happiness and relief. Almost as good as the band getting back together.

I saw Gerard's post explaining what happened. It told me a lot, made me understand why this happened. But best of all, it made me know my support group was still here. I know that they all love us, and that we're still winning this fight against life. Every bit of sadness and hurt in me has gone. I'm not even sad the band broke up, because they and their music are still here for us. I feel whole again.

To restate what Gerard said, one door has closed but another has opened. And really, My Chemical Romance is not gone. Because My Chemical Romance isn't just a band, it's an idea. An idea I try to live my life by.

This isn't goodbye. And I want to thank all of the band members for everything they've done for me, and everything they continue doing for me. I wish them good luck in whatever they decide to do in this life. I will always support the members of My Chemical Romance, and I will forever be a member of the MCRmy.

If you want to read Gerard's post, here is the link: http://www.twitlonger.com/show/n_1rjdh4f