Pumpkin part 5

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Pumpkin part 5

Hey guys. Sorry part has taken a while, what with Christmas, feeling ill and no exactly in the mood for writing. Hope you like it :)

Diary Entry: “…Everything that happened to me. It just hurt…”

Even though I knew what was going to happen, I didn’t do anything to help myself. I just stood there, and allowed my mother’s drunken acts to occur. She hated me and always had, during the pain filled duration I remembered all the times she was nasty to me, even from a young age. I remember her telling me when I was 6 or 7 that I was “stealing away her man.” I did steal him, and I deserved to be hated. That’s why I never stopped her when she pelted me with the numerous vodka bottles that she’d carelessly spread around the house. That’s why I never struggled when she ripped off my shirt and spat, “I always knew you hate yourself as much as I hate you.” after seeing the scars that covered me arms and wrists. That’s why I never refused her grip, as she gagged me, tied be to the radiator before turning up the heating. That’s why I never responded to, “No longer Daddy’s’ perfect little pumpkin now are we?” Because I deserved it.

I was weak by the end of it all. I wasn’t sure if I was still alive. I couldn’t see anything properly, everything was blurred and the room felt like it was moving constantly. At one point I asked myself if I was in hell, but as soon as I believed I was dead there was a knock at the door. It’s Blake, I thought. I tried to scream but my jaw was battered and my mother had tied my shirt around my mouth. He shouted my name a few times, each mention bringing tears to my eyes as I struggled to be noticed.

After a few minutes I heard, “Right I have to leave now, text Alec or something, ‘cause I don’t think I gave you my number.” I stopped. Blake gave up on me. He didn’t try and figure out why I went back on my word he just, left. I didn’t have the energy or will to live any more. For the next few hours I drifted in and out of sleep, my sleep was always disturbed by some memory trying to break out through my dreams, apart from the last one. I was slowly closing my eyes, failing to resist, I fell back to my unconscious state until I heard people banging the door, and screaming my name.

I was awake. Kicking, crying and screaming to the best of my ability. I just wanted out; too see Alec and Grey, and Nicky, and Blake. “Hey guys! I can see someone in the corner.” It was Grey, I caught his eye through the window, just before the front door was broke down and Blake and Alec stumbled in, followed but Grey and Nicky. I completely forgot I was only in my jeans and bra but I was just so happy to see them again.

Blake ran to me first, “Hello sweetie,” he said as he gently stroked my cheek and stared in to my tear filled eyes. His hands gently undid my knotted shirt at the back of my head. He was so beautiful. This moment was truly one of the best of my life. Until Alec coughed and Blake’s eyes shamefully hit the ground, “…Erm…” he started. But Alec pushed him out the way.
“Hey Erica, it’s Alec.”
“I know that,” I smiled. “I’m tied to a radiator, not become and idiot.”
“Yeah well I was just checking, up don’t look… ‘With it’.” He smiled back before loosening the string around my wrists. I glanced over his shoulder to see Blake still staring at me. Now’s not the time, I thought. “Grey help me,” Alec and Grey both lifted me to my feet.
“Owww!” I yelled.
“She‘s really hurt, set her back down,” Nicky told them to stop, midway through helping me up. “Blake turn on a light.”
“No!” I shouted. Each one of them stopped. I tried to stand up myself but I was too weak and fell back to the floor, face first. A light snapped on. “Erica. What have you done to yourself?” Nicky said. I stared at the ground. I didn’t want any of them to know who I really was. Alec knew too much about me for my liking already and now he knew how I dealt with the suicidal feelings. But I had to look up at some point and when I did, Nicky’s kind hazel eyes were there. His cold hand ran down the back of my arm. “The fresh burns are from the radiator I’m guessing. But am I right to assume all these cuts and scars were made by you?” It wasn’t as much as a question as much as him saving me the trouble of having to explain myself. “Who did this to you?” demanded Blake as he picked up fragments of glass. “WHO DID THIS?!” Blake through the glass he’d collected at the walls, before sliding down onto his knees in front of me. “I came by this morning and left after less then 2 minutes,” I saw tears slowly slide down is cheeks, “If I’d just tried a bit harder this would have been over a lot sooner. I’m so sorry…”
“I’m not blaming you. This wasn’t your doing. It was my mother. So please don’t, even for one tiny second, think of blaming yourself.” I fell into Blake. And he held me so tight. Once again the others joined in. Around me I had Grey, Nicky, Alec and Blake. And that’s who I needed.

When they broke away, we all realised I still didn’t have a shirt on. Blake handed me my tattered shirt that my mum had gagged me with. “You okay now?” He asked as he lifted me to my feet. I drew in a sharp breathe. “Oh do you still hurt?” Blake’s voice was full of concern, which sort of made me blush. Then Alec caught my eyes. He looked so upset. I had completely forgotten he was the reason I was still here. Only because of him I’d found friends, my mum bombarded me with bottles, then thankfully I was found, but I was repaying him by flirting with one of his best friends.
“Yeah, but I don’t think I’m the only one hurting.”