"If it's up to me I don't think I'll be, hanging around."
"All the worst parts I wouldn't want you to see, the only parts left in me. Now, here I am just a kid without a better plan."
2 quotes from the same song which sum up everything... I don't really know why. I just don't want this. I don't care if it could get better any more... What's the point?
There are things to laugh at... People to see... But it's a passing effect. It never stays. And I don't know why. I can't 'hold on to it', if that makes sense.
I'm not bullied but I'm not exactly liked at school... I have the best friend in the world on here and my family loves me now matter how much of a bitch I am. I just can't be happy for them.
Granted some days are better than others but every night it's the same routine whether I need it or not, it just has to be done.
I wish someone had and answer to fix it with out fail. But, no one around me understand. Or that I can trust. Not just that I don't want to get better. But at the same time I can't hurt my friend... She's too pretty to be sad...
I hate the thought of being put in the group of 'just another hormonal teenager' because I know it's not that. I've been so close before and the only logical reason I could think to not do it was so everyone wasn't hurt by it... Cause I know I'm not scared. It's just a mess.
So much of a mess I barely realised how close Christmas was. The hit should have been all the fucking decorations about... Sorry I know this is a waste of time just sometimes it's easier to put things here when I can't cry for a change... :/
I wish I knew how to help people Killjoys... I really really do...
