The other day I learned that if you say 'beer can' with an English accent, you're saying 'bacon' with a Jamaican accent. Mind blown. MLIA
Today, I drank Kool-Aid. A giant pitcher of juice did not break into my home. MLIA.
Today, after waiting for months, I went to an orphanage to adopt a child. The first child I was introduced to was in a full batman costume. We had an in-depth conversation about Gothams crime status, and his recent encounters with the joker. Guess who i'm bringing home? MLIA
Today, during a test I did not know the answer to a question. Instead of guessing I drew an epic battle between pirates and ningas. Guess who got extra credit? No, not me. I just got a question mark. MLIA.
Today, I fell and landed on a really cute guy while on the subway. This did not lead me to find my soul mate, or end with us giving high fives. It was just awkward. MLIA
Today I realized that for every story on this website about yelling out a Harry Potter spell and having a complete stranger respond, there's probably a ton where no one responded and it became extremely awkward. I learned that in the elevator today. MLIA
Today, as I was waiting on line at a store, I noticed the cashier had a British accent. When it was my turn, I faked a British accent in conversation. He asked me where I was from, so I admitted that I was faking. His British accent disappeared as he said, "Me too." MLIA.
Four years ago, when i was 18, i noticed that at night my front window is very reflective so i was pretending to dive in slow motion and shoot, dual pistol style. Suddenly a really hot girl walked past and i was startled and fell over. Embarrassed i waited for a bit and then stood up. As i stoop up i saw her slowly shooting an imaginary rifle from behind a car. We then proceeded to do this for 10 minutes until she did an extremely dramatic death. She wasn't getting up so i went outside to meet her. Once i got to where she was, there was nothing but a piece of paper with a mobile number on it. Today, we are getting married. MLIA
Makes you have hope for the world, right? =D
