What Do You Think???

Hello all of zone six. ok so i found this song that i started writing a while ago. i was kinda depressed during the time so i wrote it then and threw it in the back of my closet but i still think it sounds ok what do you think?

my lies, count the stars, and the times that i've cried
The burns, and the cuts, times i shuda' died
the mirror, of the sin, of everythin' i did
the shame, in the flame, of the burning crib
And if I Fall apart, forgive me, unforgivable
And if i'm done, before i start. Just let go
But no
The shit that I did, This Hopeless little kid
-strained breathing- scream-
Resesitate me in all insanity
To bring me back
To die to breathe
Just to see my loved ones die (die, die, die die)
Maybe i'll make somethin of myself
In the meantime (i, i, i, i, i)