So many things are wrong with me, and you're responsible for some of those things. You knew all of my problems from day one, my problems with trust, my fear of emotions... my ability to pretend they weren't real. Why did you have to change it all? You made me trust you, and I believed you when you said you cared for me. I hung onto your words. You changed my views on so many things... "love" ... You made me feel something, made me open up and let you in. I'd done so great at staying closed off. I thought I was safe with you, and that feeling those feelings wasn't a bad thing... I was wrong. You surprised me. After that... I mean, you stopped talking to me almost completely. Then when I asked, you told me nothing was awkward and weird, that you just didn't want to lead me on. You led me on up to that very moment though... why couldn't you have told me that before I... just before that? Then, you never replied to me when I'd attempt to have conversations. I'll be honest, you made me feel so small, and worthless. It really did hurt... more than you'll ever know. Now, you start a random conversation with me, and my heart starts to race, just as it always did... then I realize, that it's different now, and I'm only being talked to because you have no one better to talk to. It still hurts, and I do still cry thinking of the time we had. I go back and forth on if I regret it or not... I honestly don't know if I do, or not. I just wish I knew why things happened the way they did. Is it wrong for me to want answers? I would never tell you any of this, because I would be terrified of losing you completely in my life, and I still value you as a friend. I need you as a friend. The thing I hate the most about you... is that you made me fall in love with you, and now I haven't a clue how to get completely over you. I am not weak though. I'm working on getting over it all, I have someone in my life, who will treat me well now, and I have strong feelings for him. I'm certain that in time they'll grow even stronger. One day, I'll think of you, and my chest won't ache.
-Signed, My Broken Heart.
