Choices

maymay_10's picture

Choices

Choices... We all make them. It's part of existing. I have a friend whose been making all of the wrong choices. She's getting in over her head, saying that she'll do it because she's allowed to do whatever she wants. She defends her choice to do these things with, "It's in my bloodline," or, "It's a family tradition." Well, I'm sorry but drugs, and hanging out with people who increase your odds of doing drugs is NOT something you "catch" from your family. It's a choice. If we were all destined, to do what the people in our families do... I'd be a drug addict. I'd stay high, constantly. But I don't do those things. I make a choice to be clean of all drugs. I told her a long time ago that if she went down that road, that she'd be walking it alone. I told her that if she got involved with pills, that she'd no longer be able to turn to me for help. It's our friendship, or drugs. Based on what I've seen as of late, she made a choice. Apparently our friendship didn't mean as much to her as it did to me. I'm not going to stand beside her while she kills herself though. I've tried talking to her, and she always says the same thing, "It's none of your goddamn business what I do, so stay out of it," or, "I'm 18, and I'm going to do whatever the fuck I want to do." That's what I'm doing. I'm letting you do whatever the fuck you want to do, and I'm staying out of it.
I no longer trust her. Today she called and asked me for money for gas. I didn't trust that she'd spend it on gas, so I said no. I'm not helping her anymore. It's time for her to learn who her friends are. Because I'm tired of picking up the pieces when she gets herself into a situation where she's fucked. She can get money from her drug addict friends. It may be cruel... but maybe she'll learn what it means to struggle then... maybe she'll stop before it's too late for her to get out of that lifestyle.
Like it or not... she's going to make a choice. I'm not lecturing her anymore, and I'm not helping her anymore. She's on her own. Maybe that's mean of me... but that's how it is.