A few hours before sunrise, I woke to the sounds of stomping and whispered arguing. I looked up to see Poison following Kobra out of the station. I got up and followed slowly. The arguing went on outside. I stood outside the door and listened.
“Why can't you just accept her?”
“You know exactly why.”
“No, I don't. Enlighten me.”
“She...she looks exactly like..like Monica.”
“What?”
“She even sounds like her. I can't watch her without remembering her.”
“You mean, after three years, you can't let an innocent girl into your heart?”
“Yeah, it's been only three years. You can't expect me to get over everything that soon.”
“She's a great girl. She's funny, and has lots of spirit.”
“Just like Monica did.”
“Neither she, nor Ashley survived the war!”
“Yes, and you forgot her and got a new girl right away. Well, you were always first to do everything and I guess you always will.”
“That's not right. I never forgot her. I hurt for her every day, but I have to move on. You need to also.”
“I can't! Especially not with her around.” Kobra's voice was cracked.
“ You can't keep your life this way. She's going to change everything, and for the better. Now, you're either on our side, and you can listen to her and be her friend, at LEAST. Or you aren't and you can act all gloomy and everything and you can hate her, but you hate us too.”
Kobra sighed. “My own brother. MY OWN BROTHER! Would you believe that? My own brother turns on me!”
I stood there, shocked at everything I heard. Was there nothing I could do? Is that really why I was so hated? Why me?All I wanted was to be accepted. What was Poison talking about? I wasn't that important. That's why I thought leaving would be so nice. And quiet. Apparently not. I just hoped I wasn't expected to save the word.
“I'm not turning on you. We were the ones who started this life because you know that our lost ones wanted us to. Anyway, Fatal could even save the world.”
Well, there went that hope.
“Save the world? She couldn't hurt a fly! She's useless.”
Poison's voice got dark, “You know that isn't true. In fact, I think you will learn to love her soon.”
“You are sorely mistaken, brother, and you know it.” With that I heard Kobra storm off into the shack.
Wow, that was...shocking. I pulled back a bit as Poison walked through the door and acted as though I just walked up, sleepy and stumbling. I pretended to almost trip. Poison caught me and helped me up.
“You okay, Fatal?”
I blinked up at him. He was really good at the poker face. He didn't seem to be flustered or anything. “Yeah,” I answered, “I just woke up after the long night. Why were you up?”
“Oh, just checking outside, making sure there wasn't a blue sky instead of a pink.” He laughed.
I chuckled, “Yeah, don't we wish.”
“Well, I've got to go get the car washed if we are going to keep the paint good. See ya later, Fatal.” He waved bye.
“Bye!” I called, then went out the door. There was an old guitar leaning against the door post, I picked it up and sat in an old lawn chair. I started strumming and realized that this guitar was completely in tune. I grinned and started playing my favorite song I used to love playing as a younger girl. As I played, I sang. I had no idea if I still had a good voice, but I loved the song, so I kept playing.
Make a wish when your childhood dies
Hear the knock, knock, knock when she cries
Were all alone tonight
Hold your breath when a black bird flies
Count to seventeen and close your eyes
I'll keep you safe inside
He burns my skin
Never mind about the shape I'm in
I'll keep you safe tonight yeah
Move your body when the sunlight dies
Everybody hide your body from the scarecrow
Everybody hide
As I finished the last verse, I heard someone step up behind me. It was Karma. She was smiling, but it was an almost sad smile.
“I used to play the guitar for everyone at night, but I've gotten so busy, I've almost forgotten about it's existence.”
“I've played all my childhood. I wanted to be in a band and tour the world. Look how that dream turned out.”
“It's sad, how all the dreams of children have either turned to taking pills and barely learning anything, or have dusted away.”
I felt hot tears crawl my down my cheeks. “I had a friend, her name was Melissa. She wanted to write about her life in an autobiography and when she got really old, sell it so she could see people stare at it and be amazed. She had a bad case of breast cancer. She survived the cancer, but died in the war.” I felt my face grow hot. I didn't know why I was telling her this. I hadn't told anyone since I found her dead.
“War is a terrible thing. Many people were lost. Many dear people were lost.”
“Did you lose anyone?”
“Not that I know of. They all could be in the city. I have never gone in. Poison has. Lost someone, I mean. His old wife. He really loved her. It hurts me every day to think that I'm probably second best.”
“I'm sure he really does love you.”
She gave me a slight smile. “I know. Kobra lost his wife also. It's really hard on him. He's never met anyone, and practically hates it all. The being alone, but never finding the one girl to make him happy.”
“Not me.”
“You can't know that.”
“Oh, please, I overheard he and Poison arguing about me. He hates me. Why shouldn't he? He says I remind him of his wife. I'm beginning to hate myself.”
“Don't! None of that. Now, I won't tell Poison about the eavesdropping, but you can't come down on yourself like that. You are a great friend, and a wonderful person, plus you had enough guts to yell at the B.L.\Ind head. You are awesome. Don't forget that.”
“Yeah, you're right, Karma.”
“Always am.”
“I'm just gonna hang out here for a bit. Maybe play a bit more. Okay?”
“Sure, I'll get some breakfast for us.”
“Thanks.” I smiled at her as she into the station. Then I started strumming an old lullaby my grandma taught me. The sound was sweet, and it kept me from crying. I almost teared up at the fact that I had not heard that tune for fourteen years. As the rest of the crew woke up, some came out to talk and listen to the music. Fun Ghoul asked me to play something fast, and when I did, he started dancing a square dance-ish jig. Jet Star and Purple Pixie danced to a couple of my songs, and finally, we were all hungry. I had lots of pats on the back and people were amazed that that was one of the best mornings they had spent in a while. There were smiles all around. Well, except for Kobra. Should I talk to him? Would that make things better, or worse? Well, I was too hungry to decide.
