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Ranting's of a confused suicidal.....

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I've been on a fucking roller coaster of emotions this past week. I've been angry, sad, depressed, suicidal, happy, manic, etc, etc. Any emotion someone could feel has happened to me this week and i just can't take it!!! I'm sitting here in science trying not to cry because I just got hugged by Aaron!! There's just so much shit happening right now and my mom took away all my blades and i don't know what to do!!! I'm planning on dropping out of Highschool!! and my mom's tempted to just let me! I admit, I need structure in my life... I need rules.... But I don't WANT them! I don't know what the fuck I want right now!! I ran away last Tuesday, and now I still want to do it again,..... I don't want to be at my house... I don't want to be at this school! I just want to curl into a ball and disappear into NOTHING!!! Maybe I should go talk to my counselor right now... but IDK!! I'm so confused about what's going on in my life, that I don't know much of anything... I'm completely fucking ignorant about the world... My parents sheltered the shit out of me.. And now it's ruining my life.....