midnight hyperness!! :)

lostn'foundagain's picture

midnight hyperness!! :)

fuck.... i downed 2 whole monsters and now its midnight and im too fucking hyper.... everyone else is out and im stuck having to pee every five minutes and wanting to run a mile outside.... and then to top it all off, im flirting w my ex boyfriend... shit... im a horrible person... but the sad thing is... im still in love with him.... ive never stopped loving him... even after i started dating the new kid, paul... i just cant stop comparing him to tristan.... cant stop thing about him... its sad, i put on a happy/hyper face, but underneath it all im crying/screaming for him to come back to my town... be with me and love me... i want to promise him i'll never leave him again... never stop loving him... but i cant... and im starting to look at the knife again... my parents dont get that i draw on myself to keep from cutting... so they keep on screaming at me to put away the pens and be normal... well, its too fucking late for that!!! i want to be everyone's canvas! i want to be COVERED in ink... so that i can look at myself in the mirror and say to myself, "there's no more room for scars...." cause i kno that by that time, there really wont be anymore room for those beautiful, lovely scars i place on my skin....