depressed and dont know why.... :'(

lostn'foundagain's picture

depressed and dont know why.... :'(

if this is going to make you depressed.... please don't read it, I really don't want anyone to feel bad cause I am....

don't you hate it when everyone around you is happy, and you're just sitting there..... not knowing what to say cause it's the first time you've even met these people.... and they're all ignoring you. like, you could get up and walk away and they won't even notice.... even you're boyfriend doesn't notice you cause you're too busy hiding in the background..... lost in your own world of fucking depression.... saying the reason you're so silent and hidden is cause you have a headache... but really, you just feel about ready to burst into hopeless tears.... I don't even know why.... but I just feel pissed, I wanna beat the living shit outa someone..... or go cry all by myself in a corner.... cry until I fall asleep.... cause I won't be able to keep back the stinging in my eyes forever, soon I'm just going to break.... fall apart, never able to be put back together.... and I don't even know why.... the thoughts in my head are those that were there when I was extremely suicidal... I know I don't want to die, but whenever a car passes by, there's always a voice, screaming above all the others, jump... just step in front of it, hopefully you'll die, or at least injured enough to not even feel it.... like I could feel it if I wanted to... I'm so numb right now.... it's as if Mizore (someone who can control ice and is in Rosario + Vampire) just froze over my emotions.... left them cold and bitter like the ice and snow....

I'm truly sorry if this made you in the least bit depressed....