Look Alive Sunshine...

laurajane666's picture

Look Alive Sunshine...

Morning (Or as i like to call it, mourning) has arrived leaving me restless and half asleep. Monday has come. Now, I have nothing against mornings, in fact, I love them. It's what follows after that worries me. I'm in my last term of school and it's no secret that i'm not a well liked person. I have friends, people i talk to, but i never feel at home with them. I always feel the need to hold things back. When i'm with them, i feel almost robotic. I do what i'm supposed to and not what i want and i hate it. I want to be able to find people that i can be 100% comfortable with. Do these type of people exist? I hope so. Being the 'eccentric' little freak I am, I like stuff and talk about stuff that is weird. I dress funny and wear lots of dark make-up. That's just who i am. But i feel the need to hold back on who i am, only letting people see half my crazy. Is that even healthy?

I honestly sit here and think things out and that just allows me to fall into the black pit i call 'Depression' as one thought jumps to the next. I don't feel that i'm truly accepted anywhere, everyone at home doesn't even try to hide the fact they think i'm a freak.

I don't even know why i'm writing this. I guess it's really playing on my mind. Oh well, i guess it's time to put on the mask and look alive even if i'm dying inside. Stay strong, live long, my fellow Killjoys and i hope you all keep running. Remember, we're not afraid to keep on living.

~ Laura xx