It Doesn't Matter What I Do...

This fucking depression won't go away. No matter how busy i am, no matter how much i try to keep myself occupied with other things it's just not going away. I'm a junior in high school. I take two AP classes, and i'm a great student. I do my homework, i have a social life. I stay after school almost everyday for two different clubs and tutoring, and guitar lessons from my music teacher. I work on saturdays and my only day off is sunday. I'm as busy as i have ever been right now. But it doesn't matter. In that moment before i go to sleep, everything i try to forget comes back at full blast. All the pain, insecurities, suicidal thoughts, my depression come back, well i guess it never really left. I don't want to feel this anymore.I just want to feel loved and needed. I don't know, gots nothing else to say. :'(