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school sucks, start a band

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killjoys-never-die's picture
on August 15, 2014 - 8:19pm

I'm back :D I've only been gone a few days but ive missed you guys a lot. So, since everyone on here is talking about their lives I thought I'd share a bit of my past here and update on what has been going on recently :) so I've gone to different Catholic schools all my life because my mom is religious to a fault. Like way overboard Catholic, you probably know the type. Anyways, I went to this one school up until third grade and life was okay. I had multiple friends and decent grades, but this wasn't enough for my mom, so she transferred me to another Catholic school that was really far away. This is where life started to go downhill. I have a lot of social anxiety and a huge problem with physically talking to people I don't know. I feel like they're always judging me and laughing at me behind my back.

So I only made one friend and I clung to her. But unfortunately she got annoyed by my need for friends and left me to join the popular girls, leaving me alone once again to be picked on and outcast by my whole class. This continued all the way until high school. Once I got into high school, I found other people like me. I found people who were outcasts and into the same music and had gone / were going through the same shit I was. For the first time in a long time I actually had people who wanted to talk to me. It was strange to have people worry about where I was when I wasn't at school, or want to sit with me at lunch. I was still picked on and made fun of, but it wasn't just me against the world this time. I've never had a boyfriend or even had a guy ask me out, which I suppose makes since because I'm really not attractive and I don't talk to anyone but my close friends... this leads me up to my current life situation. So there's this guy. He's beautiful and into good music and funny and he's actually the one who introduced me to mcr. He plays guitar and cello. I've really liked him for a while now, but I can't find the courage to talk to him. I have talked to him a few times about music, but I'm only confident when I'm playing the piano and talking to him, which isn't that often. I want to talk to him all the time but I can't start conversations. Ever. It doesn't matter who it is, unless it's one of my friends I won't be able to start a conversation with them. I don't know what to do because I really like him and he's in one of my classes this year. And we have a school dance coming up and I'd really like to be asked, by anybody because I've never been asked to a dance before which I'm ashamed about but it's true. Any advice? Also, I'm almost done with the first chapter of the Cinderella spin-off I was talking about earlier so I should have that posted before the end of the week :D keep running -killjoys-never-die