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excuses and life update

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killjoys-never-die's picture
on August 30, 2014 - 8:30pm

Hey guys :) i havent been on here for a while and Im sorry about it. I sunk back into depression and was having a really hard time convincing myself to do anything, even get on here and talk to my family. The worst part of it is that I let it happen. I knew where I was headed and I let myself get deeper and deeper until several days ago when I became completely empty. Nothing mattered, I was doing 'things' worse and more often than ever, and I considered going away to be a better alternative to this emptiness I had begun living. But then something happened, just a few little things that made me reconsider my decision. It was yesterday, I was at a school sports game, sitting alone on the bleacher while stupid freshmen thought it would be funny to throw water bottles at me, some of which weren't empty either. I wanted to leave but I didn't want to go home, and so I stayed, feeling worse than I had all day. But then someone joined me on my empty row of seats. A guy, whom I had helped out last year with some student council stuff and hadnt really talked to since. He started talking to me about how great my ideas were last year and if I could help him come up with some for this year and even told the freshman to stop throwing things at me. I was shocked and felt really good all of a sudden. It had been a while since anyone but my few best friends had come over to talk to me. And when I left the game, I was feeling better enough that I was able to come on here and talk to you guys about it. :) I'm slowly getting out of this hole ive dug myself and if you have any suggestions as to how I can escape it or prevent it from coming back once this shocked joy wears off Id really appreciate it <3 so yea that's my life update .. hope you all are having a wonderful day and weekend <3 Love you!!