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Advice please?

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killjoys-never-die's picture
on August 1, 2014 - 7:50pm

The title says it all guys, I need some help. And lots of it. So I've got a couple things going on right now in my life that are driving me crazy and I could really use some sage advice from experienced killjoy family. Okay so first thing is this girl in my class is having a "back to school" lake house party. I'm not really a party person but she's my friend and I never get invited to these things so I feel like I should go. But I also know that she's invited some people from my school that I don't really...get along with. Should I still go?

Next thing. We are escalating here. My mom has been passive aggressively trying to make me stop listening to my music (which she believes to be "satanic" which she actually said). I can't stop listening to music, it's how I'm still here. But now she won't let me do anything because she thinks I'm untrustworthy because of my music choices.... any advice?
I'm also worried about going to the doctor. Two reasons: I have a huge fear of syringes, and they always make you answer questions on a depression test. Guys I hate lying, especially to people who want to help me, but I just don't think I could take it if people knew what I'm going through. This is a major problem because I know I need help but I just can't find it in me to answer honestly.
Another problem with my mom, besides thinking that my music glorifies suicide (WHAT?) She also believes that it isn't who I am. She thinks there is nothing wrong with me. She doesn't know I'm depressed she doesn't know stuff I can't talk about. She knows nothing, which I'm glad about (because that means I'm better at hiding it all than I thought) and really upset about, because that means she doesn't pay attention enough to notice and that I can't get help anytime soon...again I'm lost here guys.
And on top of it all I'm gonna be moving up to Washington dc next year to go live with family, leaving everything behind and I'm really scared that it's gonna be worse there than it is here. I'm gonna leave the friends that I have, my band, my house, my sister, and move to f*king dc (no offence to anyone who lives there) and not get to come home except for Christmas. I don't want to go but I dont really have much of a choice.
There are a few more sh itty things in my life but I'll spare you the details. I'm really sorry all I really post about myself is how terrible life is, I'll try to post something more uplifting when all this sorts out. Please please please comment or message me advice, it would mean the world to me.