My Story......

Killjoy0723's picture

My Story......

Well, Here I Am For The First Time, With My Very First Blog Post.
Well, Like The Title Says, This Blog Is Pretty Self Explanatory. This Is My Story. The Story That Started My Love With This Band, And The Story That Started My Complete Make-Over As A Person. So Let's Start, Shall We.?
Well My Name Is Justine, And My Birthday Is October 13. I First Discovered This Band When I Was 7, About The Time When "The Black Parade" Came Out.
I Remember That Day. It Was Me, My Mom, And My Two Brothers In The Living Room. We Were All Watching MTV That Morning In The Living Room. The Music Video For "Welcome To The Black Parade" Was On. I'll Always Remember That Video Because Of The Intro. It Was My Very First My Chemical Romance Music Video. I'll Always Remember Seeing "The Patient", With His Eyes Blacked Out, Lying In His Death Bed. But The One Thing That For Sure Caught My Eye Was Gerard Way Himself. His Voice, His Look, Everything About Him Caught My Attention. And, It Takes A Lot To Catch The Attention Of A Seven Year Old Girl With ADHD. I Remember Seeing Gerard Way With His Bleached Hair, In Black And White, Singing On The T.V In The Patients Room. I Was Amazed. I Remember Thinking,"I Want To Be Like This When I Grow Up." That Was The Last I Remembered.
So A Few Years Past, And I Turned 11 Back In October Of Last Year. Then I Was Hung On Justin Bieber. Big Mistake There. Last Year I Was Bullied Out Of My Elementary School, So I Started Middle School In Sixth Grade, A Year Earlier Then All My "Friends". It Was An Odd Experience, Making Friends All Over Again. I Was Scared Of Making Friend's Again Because Of My Previous Experiences. But Anyway's, At The Beginning Of The Year, The Intro Of "Welcome To The Black Parade" Kept Playing In My Head. Of Course Then, I Didn't Know The Song Was Called "Welcome To The Black Parade", I Thought It Was Called The Black Days Parade For Some Reason. But Anyways, All Year The Intro Was Just There, Constantly Playing In The Back Of My Head. So One Day I Was On Youtube, And Out Of No Where, I Just Decided To Type In "The Black Days Parade" In The Search Box. And Sure Enough, There It Was. A Video Still Of The Patient, Lying In His Death Bed, With His Eye's Blacked Out, Staring At A Bleached Haired Gerard Way. I Heard The Song/Watched The Video, And All Those Memories Came Rushing Back. I Was So Excited I Went Through Every Lyric Video That Came Up. I Was Thrilled. I've Come Across The Best Band I've Ever Heard.
That Was In October, So I Had Been Into Them For About, Hmm About 6 Or 7 Months. Then The Biggest Tragedy Ever Struck. Me And My Best Friend Andrew Loved My Chemical Romance More Than Anything. We Had A Special Bond Over The Band. We Both Understood How It Was, Being Rejected By Everyone, Being Disliked For Being Who We Were. That Was Just Our Special Thing. My Best Friend To Ever Have Existed, My Andrew, Died On April 29, 2011. He Had An Asthma Attack That Friday Morning While Getting Ready For School. He Was Rushed To The Hospital But Didn't Receive Medical Attention In Time. His Heart Stopped Before He Got To The Hospital.
I Found Out That Monday, May 2. I Was More Devastated Then Anything. I Didn't Talk To Anyone, I Refused To Do Work, I Wouldn't Do Anything Really. I Was Depressed. But Of Course Nobody Believed Me. I Mean Who Would Believe That An 11 Year Old Could Be Depressed? Then As Time Progress And More Time Drifted Between Me And That Last Thursday I Last Talked To Andrew, I Couldn't Take It Anymore. I Couldn't Take Life Anymore. I Wanted To Die And Be With My Andrew Again. I Was Tired Of Being Told To Move On And To Get Over It. I Was Tired Of Being Rejected By Everyone For Being Who I Am. I Just Wanted It All To End.
And So, I Was Watching "Life On The Murder Scene" The Night I Was Ready To Just Give Up. Then I Came Across The Part About Gerard Way Being An Alcoholic And How He Was Depressed. When He Started Talking About How He's Been Through It All, And How Committing Suicide Is A Bunch Of BS, I Turned Off The Movie And Began Bawling. I Cried For Everything: For Wanting To Give Up, For All My Memories Of Being Rejected And Bullied, For Wanting Andrew Back, For Everything. That Was The Night I Promised Myself I Would Keep Going. No Matter What, I Would Never Give Up.
After That, I Stuck To My Promise. I Began Trying To Make Friends. I Began Ignoring All The Insults That Were Directed Toward Me. I Began Gaining More Confidence. I Started Speaking My Mind, And Saying How I Feel. I Began Expressing My Opinions, And Standing Up For Not Only Myself But For My New Friends. I Began Being In Control Of My ADHD, Instead Of Letting Myself Be Controlled By It. All Of This, Because Of One Band. One Band I Would Have Never Thought To Love. And I Couldn't Be More Thankful. I Was Ready To Give Up On Life After 11 Short Years, But I Didn't. I Decided To Keep Going. And I Still Am.
Now, It's August 27, 2011. In 6 Weeks And Five Days, I'll Be 12. I'll Have Been In Love With This Band For A Year. On Monday, August 29, 2011, Andrew Will Have Been Gone For Four Months Now. And Sure I'll Cry, But I'll Know That He's Still Here With Me. And I Won't Just Give Up And Let Go. I'll Keep Going And I'll Keep Going. My Chemical Romance Saved My Life, And I Am Forever Grateful. Now, My Chemical Romance Is Out Their To Save Your Life To. As Gerard Way Once Said," "There was a moment in my life when I really wanted to kill myself. And there was one other moment when I was close to that. . . . But even in my most jaded times, I had some hope." Him And The Band Were There For Me When I Needed Them More Than Ever. Now They're There For You. <3
-Justine