What I thought was impossible

KateMercedes's picture

What I thought was impossible

Actually is. Last Friday I decided to contact my sister for the first time in ten years. A lot has been going on in my life, and I decided now is as good a time as any to talk to the woman I share my blood with. If you want to know what happened last Friday I posted that on my profile. But it's been a few days, and it seems to me that she won't be contacting me.

I have to think sometimes, that when she looks at her 4 year daughter if she'll think of the first time we met. I was her kids age, and she was 16. At that time I thought I was an only child, and being one I always had dreamt of having a sister. When I found out I had one, like any little girl, I just had to meet her. When I did, I can't recall anything except that our grandmother took us to Mc Donalds and I clung to her leg like crazy. After that encounter I didn't see her again for another seven years.

It was when I was 10 when had our second encounter. A family gathering on Thanksgiving. She came with her boyfriend. I can't remember much besides that she fought with our dad before storming off in a fit of rage. I didn't get to say goodbye.

Ten years later I don't have much to say about her. I know her name, that she's 15 years older than me and she has twins, happily married and may have forgotten about me completely. The only thing we have in common is that at the most crucial part of our lives our Dad wasn't there as a parental figure, disappeared from our lives completely. The only difference? I didn't have a mom to catch me during that fall. I'm a foster child, and she? She got to keep some stability in her life.

Now that I'm trying to contact her she runs away from the past, pretending like I'm not even there. At this point I couldn't care for acceptance or rejection. All I want is aknowledgement from her, that atleast she knows that every once in a while that she passes my mind, and I hope I pass in hers.