Yeah im fully aware that no one probably reads this, but ah well. I think ive gotten over the fact that sometimes it seems like the general population of zone 6 is bipolar in their commenting - like one one blog i'd get a ton of comments and on another i'll get none, when both times i needed someone equally.
Anyways, its like im at a crossroads or something. I either try to overcome this depression and poor stress/anxiety coping mechanisms thing i've had going on and off for years, probably half my life, or i can just let it consume me once again and i know very well where that goes. Not but a month or two ago that's precisely what i had chosen to do and it had me suicidal and thanks to you guys and my best friend nothing ever happened and i've been okay up until now. One thing i have to ask of you guys, and if you read please respond, is how do you change your own thought process? Me and my friend have been talking, and have a mutual agreement that i need to (a) get some self confidence and stop thinking im a burden to everyone, and (b) get over my past mistakes and failures, and (c) find better ways to cope with things. Oh and change how i think. In order to do all of that i need to change the way i think and though i kind of no where to start im still sketch on that. If i were in therapy like i probably should be i think the term is cognitive therapy.
Anyways, anyone wanna impart some advice? I mean yeah i can write and draw and do all those wonderful things everyone keeps suggesting but unless i want this to be a neverending cycle of me getting depressed again and again, i need to somehow manage to give myself cognitive therapy and change the way i think of and look at things - perspective, is probably the word im looking for. If anyone reads this please comment, okay? Anyways, i need to make some calls so i need to go.
Keep running,
~ Kari
