Where are you? What happened to you? I can’t feel you anymore its like your slipping away. I can’t take it but I’m frozen here just watching. I remember when we were little things were so simple, so carefree. We would play at your house, playing with Barbies and all sorts of little figurines. Your little sister would follow us around, wanting to play along, and the hardest decisions we had to make were what to play next. Why can’t things be that simple again? Ten years have passed since then. Why can’t things be so simple again? Can such superficial things like differing interests and religion really tear us apart? Are all those late nights, up talking together, consoling one another and telling each other that we’ll get through each other’s problems, are they all gone now? Do I have to hide my interests because they, as normal as they are, offend you and your religion? I used to have religion too but it never stopped me from keeping a friend when their views differed from mine. Why can’t things go back to the way they were, to the way they used to be? Why must everything fall apart over such superficial shit? Or do common interests and hobbies really make a friendship work. Do they? If so no one ever told me. I’m sorry if this can’t work out. I’m sorry if things can’t go back to the way they were. I’m sorry I was such a shitty friend. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I went back on my promise never to cut again. I cut again tonight, because of this. Now I have bloodstained kahki shorts that I have to throw away to hide it from my mom. I guess there won’t be anymore late nights up talking, consoling each other and telling each other it’ll be alright. And if there are, they will never feel the same. You should have said something earlier if it mattered so much to you. I’m sorry, and goodbye, old friend. I’m sorry. Hopefully you’ll learn to live and love life, and I wish you good luck in accomplishing your dreams because I know you can. I’ll always root for you, even if I’m pushing you away right now. I’m sorry I was such a shitty friend.
Keep running,
~ Kari
