Chapter 83

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Chapter 83

Chapter 83

I woke up on the couch to the sound of someone cooking and humming the most beautiful song. I couldn’t name the song but whatever it was it filled me with a bit of hope; like the light at the end of the tunnel. I listened for a while then realized that I had to pee. I rushed to the bathroom so fast that I almost collapsed from standing too fast. Once I flushed the toilet I opened the door to see a flash of white then a bunch of fuzzy black spots. I felt the tile slip underneath me as I began to descend backwards. Before I slammed harshly into the ground I felt two arms around me, “Still standing up too fast are we?” Gerard said as my vision began to return to normal.

I just hugged him quickly; to asleep to create words…wanting to get him off my back. I followed him into the kitchen and took a seat on the counter, sitting criss-crossed. “I’m making chocolate chip pancakes” Gerard said with a smile as I stared into the front door. I focused my attention on him as he moved in front of me with a plate, “Have one” he said with that same smile. “I’m fine” I said looking down at my hands and picking the broken chipped nails. “Just a bite” he said holding a pancake under my waterfall of hair. I took a bite but immediately wished I hadn’t; I felt sick to my stomach but still swallowed it. “How was it?” he asked hopeful for an answer. “Good” I said even though my body rejected it at first.

“Sweet. Fucking amazing chef.” He mumbled the last part. I put my arms behind my back to stretch and hold myself up; I felt a hand creep across and jumped off the counter. My heartbeat raced and I could hear my heart pumping in my ears, “Sorry” Gerard said confused to what he did, if anything. I started to panic, “I-Its fine. I-I’m going t-to go shower” I managed to spit out as I ran up the stairs. I slammed the bathroom door behind me and slid down it trying to slow my breathing. What the fuck is wrong with me? Panicking when my own husband tries to touch my hand?

I started my shower and quickly took off my clothes then stopped at my arm; have to take the bandage off. I slowly unraveled the gauze to find cuts deeper than I had ever done. “F-Fuck” I said with a shaky voice. I-I did this? I could imagine what Gerard’s face must have looked like when he was taking care of his unconscious wife while she lay bleeding and helpless. A tear slipped down my cheek as I fell to the ground; sitting on my knees and tracing over the huge gashes I had made in my own flesh. The door opened but I ignored it, “Hey” he said in my ear wrapping his arms around me from behind. He ignored my naked body and just stared into the scabs on my arm, “You need to shower, we have to go visit the guys” he said in a soft low voice. He squeezed me closely and kissed the side of my head before helping me up and opening the shower door for me. I walked in still caught up in the thoughts of my arms.

Once my shower was over I went into my closet, finding nothing big enough for me I went into Gerard’s a grabbed a hoodie. I pulled it over my head, it smelled like him. Wasn’t sure if I enjoyed that or hated it; but it was a size large which I enjoyed. (A/N: Diana is a size small, so she’s practically swimming in the hoodie and since she hasn’t been eating, she’s even smaller)

I slipped on my black jeans and black converse then made my way down the stairs. Gerard led me back to the Jeep that was parked in our driveway, “You like it? Its Franks old one; he said he bought a new car, I figured you would like it.” He explained as I got in the car. I used to tell him how much fun it would be to take a Jeep to the desert and just drive while blasting some awesome music.

I spaced out for most of the drive until we pulled up to a recording studio. When I raised my head to look where we had stopped my heart skipped a beat. I had to say something before we went in; Gerard opened his door and I grabbed his shirt. “Gerard” I said pulling him back. I roped him into a tight hug, “I forgive you” he said after what seemed like forever. I could spend forever with him. So I shall.
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Sorry. I have been doing a lot.
Writing more as you read this.
Enjoy, comment, yeah. <3
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Chapter 84:
http://www.mychemicalromance.com/blog/justanotherkilljoy/chapter-84