Chapter 27

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Chapter 27

Chapter 27

I got out of the shower, got dressed, and looked in the mirror; I had like 5 hickies on my neck. I scrambled through my bag and found a scarf which I tied around my neck to hide it. When I walked back into the set I noticed Gerard was back in his outfit. I really didn’t want it to be awkward so I just stared at the floor; when I looked up Gerard was staring at me his face was showered with love. I waved slowly and he waved back then came back to his senses; I felt a lot better that it wasn’t awkward. When I am with Gerard it makes everything better. I watched closer up now because the whole camera crew needed close shots of the band.

I studied Gerard’s many facial expressions, there were so many. I could have sat there for months just watching how he rocked out. When Gerard got to take a break he found me again; I was talking with Katrine at a staff café. “YOU KNOW HOW I GET WHEN I HAVE A PEPERMENT PATY!” I yelled at her. “THAT’S MY JOKE COPYRIGHT BY KATRINE!” she yelled back. We both laughed; that’s when Gerard walked by. “Hey!” I yelled when I saw him. He walked over and I introduced him to Katrine. “You’re lucky you get to spend all this time with her; she’s hilarious! We have to keep in touch Diana” she said to Gerard and then me. “Toats” I said. “Toats muh goats” she said back as we both laughed.

“I gotta talk to you” Gerard told me. “Kay. I will see you later Katrine.” I said as I got up. “Yeah brb. Be Ready Bitch” she said. I laughed and gave her a thumbs up as we walked away. “What’d you wana talk about?” I asked as we turned the corner. “Absolutely nothing” he said as he pushed me against the wall and kissed me. I put my arms around his neck and ran my fingers through his soft hair. He twisted my hair through his fingers which sent chills down my back. He took off my scarf to kiss my neck but then he stopped, “Did I do this?” he asked. “Yeah, but I don’t mind.” I said. He smiled all dirty like and continued to kiss me, I felt some tongue but Gerard stopped himself. “I really should be getting back” he said. “No, don’t leave” I said as I gave him a kiss. He attempted to pull away and I followed him; he pushed me against the wall again and the kiss got more violent. “I gotta.” He said and kissed me quickly. “Go” and kissed me quickly again.

He pulled away and then kissed me once more before he left. I stood there for a while then I wiped my mouth and fixed my hair; before I followed again. I decided to hang out in the bus; I was pretty tired and went straight to the bathroom. I just sat there and looked at myself for while. ‘Why would anyone find me attractive? I guess my legs are descent but how does Gerard find me attractive; he could have gotten a way prettier girl then me with the snap of his fingers.’ I thought to myself. I started to hum a tune and as I was looking in the mirror I sang how I felt; “If you look in the mirror and don't like what you see. You can find out firsthand what it's like to be me,” I sang then hummed a bit more.

I saw someone open the slightly open bathroom door, “What were you singing?” asked Frank. “I don’t know, just whatever popped into my head." I said embarrassed that he heard me. “I think you need to let Gerard hear it; it’s pretty fucking awesome already” he said excitedly. “Sweet, I’m going to go find him” I said. “Wait for me!” he said running into the bathroom as I stepped out. “….what it’s like to be me,” I finished. “That is pretty good; I bet I could make that a song! Is it okay if I steal it from you?” Gerard asked hoping not to offend me. “What’s mine is yours” I said with a smile. By the time they were done filming for the day Gerard had wrote most of the song.

“Now come one come all to this tragic affair
Wipe off that makeup, what's in is despair
So throw on the black dress, mix in with the lot
You might wake up and notice you're someone you're not

If you look in the mirror and don't like what you see
You can find out firsthand what it's like to be me
So gather 'round piggies and kiss this goodbye
I'd encourage your smiles I'll expect you won't cry

Another contusion, my funeral jag
Here's my resignation, I'll serve it in drag
You've got front row seats to the penitence ball
When I grow up I want to be nothing at all!” Is how it went.

“It’s amazing” I said. “Then it sort of leads into a bunch of ‘I said yeah! Save me, get me the hell out of here’ blah blah blah. The song has got a lot of potential; do you think we could squeeze it onto the record?” he asked Ray. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure we could” he said happily. “And it’s all thanks to Diana” Mikey said from behind me. “Thanks Mikey, but really you guys did all of the work; you still have to get all of the chords down. I only thought of the tune.” I said after hugging Mikey. “The tune is the most important part!” Frank yelled from across the whole lot which echoed; at this point we were just hanging outside the building to wait for someone to tell us what to do.

I found a ball and rolled it to him and we were just kicking it back a fourth while we all talked. It was actually really nice weather; it was overcast and around 6pm so it was nice and cool. I love overcast and rain; I would much rather live in constant rain, which doesn’t make much sense that I lived in California until now. I was barefoot and changed back into my pants, I wore a new black parade t-shirt; it was like a rough draft of shirts and I had my hair in a loose bun because it was in my way. I loved being barefoot, I would prefer a world without shoes. It got quite so I decided to play favorites. “What the hell is favorites?” Bob asked. “I ask what your favorite movie is and you answer, and then once everyone is done everyone just asks each other’s favorites.” I said. “Makes sense” Bob replied. “Favorite song on the album so far.” I said. Everyone gave their own answers, “What’s your favorite Diana?” Mikey asked. “I don’t have one, it changes all the time. It just depends which one I have stuck in my head that day.” I answered. “Dammit, why didn’t I think of that?” Bob said.

We asked our favorite bands, our favorite movies, our favorite animals, and our favorite summer/winter activities. It was all a bunch of fun; about an hour later the director informed the guys that they had to get ready to go shoot the other video. “This one is going to be really intense guys, I’m going to need a fucking 110% out of you, and I don’t give a shit how tired you are.” he said once we got there. I know understood what Gerard meant by ‘you will see his angry side and wish you never met him’; when this guy wanted shit done, he would get shit done and push down whoever is in his way. We were in the middle of nowhere; it was just tightly packed dirt that seemed to go on forever. There was fire everywhere for the video and I had to stay far back; I was ok with that because I was getting tired anyway. I sat in Gerard’s seat for a while before moving into the bus; he would do fine without me.

I went to check on them after about an hour to find Gerard with the medical crew around him; I had a slight heart attack and ran up to see what happened.
Chapter 28: