Chapter 15
I felt my heart sink into my feet and fall out of my body. I couldn’t feel my legs and collapsed. Everything went black. Then I remember waking up and seeing Gerard; his cast was off by now so he could hold me. “What the hell? Why do you have to go to Jersey?” I said while tears ran down my face again. “My mom can’t find a job here. We just can’t stay here. I’m sorry.” He said still crying. “So that’s just it; you’re just going to leave?” I asked. It seemed to crush him inside, “Yes, I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you.” “When exactly are you leaving?” I asked. “I’m going to finish testing then I’m leaving.” He said. “So you’re not even staying for the last day of school?” I said while crying my eyes out. He just shook his head.
I ran out of the room as he followed. I managed to get out the door and he grabbed my hand before I could start running home. He kissed me but I tried to get away; I didn’t want to see him. After a whole year of telling him everything about me except my secret which I hadn’t told anybody; and he was going to throw it all away. I ran home and slammed the door behind me, then continued to run to my bedroom and slam the door. As I ran to my room my mother came running after me, “What’s wrong? Why are you crying?!?” I ignored her. I cried myself to sleep that night.
In the morning my mom woke me up and told me that Gerard came and told her everything. It was Monday; great. Just the thing I needed, a class with Gerard. I put on a new pair of Jeans and slipped on a pullover jacket; the types of jackets I would be wearing for the rest of the year. All I ever did was sit on the couch and do nothing; say nothing on the weekends. During class I would just sit there, I didn’t talk to my friends.
I still wanted to switch schools like I wanted earlier in the year, so my mom signed me up. I was excited but I was still in this deep fog after what happened with Gerard. They were supposed to call us over summer weather or not I got accepted. They called the second to last week of school; during testing. I got accepted. All my friends were mad, but I had no real emotion towards it; towards anything or anybody. The only emotion I had was anger towards my family; that’s why I stayed in my room. The longer I was with them, the longer and angrier I got.
Class wasn’t awkward with Gerard because I didn’t look over at him anymore. I didn’t talk to him anymore. The only thing that ever happened was he would look up to check on me once every class. I never looked at him; I couldn’t bare it. I felt like if I did I would fall back in love. Yes; I feel like I am in love with this boy. I’ve only known him a year, but that was all it took. I had to let him go, so I pushed back the feelings since we broke up.
The last week went quickly; Gerard was gone and I was leaving the school for good. On the last day of school I decided to walk home. I passed by Gerard’s house and it was empty; but I saw something on the roof. I ran home and changed into a tank top. I ran back to Gerard’s old house and asked the next door neighbor if I could borrow a ladder. I climbed up onto the roof to find the ‘second floor’. I laid down and the memories came flowing back.
I looked over to my left and noticed something carved into the wood on the floor, ‘D+G forever’ written in cursive. I didn’t know what to think, I loved it and I hated it. I hurried and got off the roof, returned the ladder and ran home. I am so stupid; why in hell would I go back?!
It only took me the summer to get out of the depression. It was hard but I managed to do it. The next year I had a boyfriend but I never really kissed him or hugged him the same way; it just wasn’t the same. They all say that you never get over your first love but Gerard wasn’t my first love; I just never forgot about him. He was always in the back of my mind, and he was about to walk right back into my life.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hope you like it!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 16:
http://www.mychemicalromance.com/blog/justanotherkilljoy/chapter-16
