We need help.

jables701's picture

We need help.

This is my girlfriends question from her blog but we really need help.

So I have been dating a trans girl for nearly 3 years. The problem is I had previously dated the same person before they realised they were trans and we had a bit of a bad break up causing my parents to hate her. I wanted to get back together with said person and I did, but behind my parents back because I was only 13 at the time and still a child under their control. It's been rocky at times but I was happy and we managed to pull through. As time went on, especially after I found out she was trans I tried to figure out how I would tell my parents but I was always too scared to bring it up. My dads reaction if he doesn't like something is to shout, my mum is a bit more capable of discussion.

I was recently on a trip to America for 6 days and arrived back home yesterday. When I was at Heathrow airport yesterday waiting to board my connecting flight, my mum phoned me to ask where I was, and told me she'd found pictures on my computer that she wanted to talk to me about. I identify as pansexual mostly, but I say bisexual for most people to avoid explaining the meaning of the term as they are sort of similar. I'll leave it up to the imagination what the pictures she found were. Anyway it ended with me having to tell her I'm bisexual (she would never have heard of pansexual), so I decided to kill two birds with one stone and tell her I wanted to get back together with my girlfriend, who she obviously still see's as a boy.

After she picked me up she asked me if I was gay and I said I like both. Then I decided to suck it up and say I wanted to get back together with my girlfriend. I explained to her that we broke up as I made a flippant comment about not wanting to be with a crossdresser and she overreacted and then I explained that she identifies as transgender and what that means. Then my mum explained to my dad when we got home as I was crying too much to do so.

They didn't take it very well to say the least. My dad says that he is ashamed that I'm his daughter, the idea of a trans person disgusts him. My mother says she's disappointed in me and that the idea of me being with her while she's in girls underwear disgusts her and so does the thought of me in bed with another girl. My grandparents are both disappointed and say that I need to have some sense talked into me. I've been called a great variety of names since yeaterday such as weirdo, freak, freakshow among others and told i'm "not right in the head" by my mum, my dad won't speak to me. I've also been told I'm going to tear my family apart.

They say I've been manipulated by her and as I've never been with anyone else I only want to be with her because it's what I know. I'm grounded and have been told I'm only allowed out the house for school and am not allowed to see any of my friends as they have corrupted me. Basically I've been told I've to choose between her and my family.

I'm 16 years old, and as I live in Scotland I could legally leave home without breaking the law. However, if I do that I will lose my family. One of my friends is telling me that I should be leaving as they are both intolerant bigots. But if I stay I won't be allowed to be with her and I love her.

Is their reaction reasonable? Should I be leaving? I don't even know any more I just know right now I don't want to be in this house.

Any help would be great.