Just one more year..

So yeah, I start school for the year tomorrow, after like two months break. It's my last year of school, and I really really really fucking don't wanna go back there. I'm like crying just thinking about it. I don't get bullied as such like how other people do. Like people don't hit me or abuse me but at my school people are mean like behind your back, and I think I'd rather just get beaten up to be honest. I don't fit in, not only cause I'm a loser, but like I literally am not like them in the way I was brought up and my social background. Been there two years now, I'm still the scholarship kid, and everyone knows that and they also know that my family are not wealthy and I get shit for it. "Where'd you go this holidays?" "No-where." "Oh, that's right I forget that you can't really afford to go away that often." It's like shut the fuck up I'm happy with it how it is so why do you have to try make me feel like shit about it. I have friends, if you could even call them that. People there, even my friends, so like.... fake.. They lie and pretend to be someone's friend and bitch about them behind their back. They're like "OMG I HATE HER" then go hang out with her later. I'm not like that, if I don't like someone, I'm always pleasant but in a distant kinda 'I'd rather not be talking to you right now' way. I feel so alone there, and then at home I don't get much support either. At least at home I don't have to listen to stupid teenage girls stating their opinion in every class and demanding that it is right. It's a fucking opinion, there is no right or wrong. It's only one more year, I guess I can get through it. I'm just so sick of pretending. I have to put on an act and pretend I'm happy there. I hate lying and shit but I couldn't really see any other option. People know I hate the school, but if i sit there fuming over it I'm never gonna get anywhere..

Oh, and just to add to it. I don't have a ball date. My YEAR 12 BALL, like the most important event of the year apart from graduation, and I can't go because the guy I was gonna go with doesn't really want to. Apparently I scared him or something. I think I just pushed him away, I don't know why I would but I did and now yeah I have no date. You're thinking "screw him, it's your night, go have fun anyway." But nooooo, my fucked-up school won't let us go alone.

Yeah, now I finished complaining...