I bid thee good evening. Well....good morning. But really, not so much "good" :/ I know I've gone a couple of days, maybe a week or so, without posting a nightmare of mine on here. I have had one every night, mind you, but I thought I was getting annoying. But its almost 2:00 right now, and I'm crying in my bed, freaking out because... well....
I'm with Mimi in a dark hallway with flickering lights and leaking ceilings. Don't ask why, my dreams don't make sense (yet somehow they manage to be extremely detailed.....) I am wearing a white dress, and hers is black. She takes my hand and leads me down the hallway, saying softly “they will never hurt you, they will never hurt you, they will never hurt you”.
As we are walking, the hallway grows eerie, and doors behind us creak open and slam shut. I try to turn my head to look behind me, but she grabs my chin and pulls me back to her for a long, steady kiss. The lights all go out, and we stop kissing thus she disappears. I am turning every which way, trying to find where she went or some light source, when I hear her strike a match. I see a flame glow behind me, and when I turn, she is there, but her eyes are pitch black and her lips are black and cracked. Her skin is burned everywhere, and in one hand she holds the match, the other a blade.
“They will never hurt you” she whispers in my ear, kisses my cheek, slits my throat and burns my lips, only my lips, then blows out the match. Only a couple of seconds go by when the light flicks back on, gradually, and I see that she is on the floor where I had laid, and I am in her spot, the dead match back in my hand, the blade in the other. My eyes are black, my lips the same, but my skin remains as clear as hers suddenly is. I start to cry, and the match lights again in my fingertips. I hold it to my face, my hand shaking, and I burn it to match how hers had been, then slit my throat.
I really wish I knew what was happening to me, but maybe I should cheer up this blog entry somehow? Um... I conquered the yo-yo today. My cousin is sleeping over in the room next to mine (the main reason I decided to grab my mouth right when I woke up....). Tomorrow I have a baby shower to go to.... my aunt's...baby shower.... :/
Gr.... sorry for the depressing entry but I needed something to vent to....
I would never.... try to hurt that girl. Intentionally anyway. If I ever hurt her....accidentally more than I already have, damn I don't know how I'd go on.... :/ She means the world to me right now, whether or not I question my heart sometimes, or the secrets I've come to keep, all I know is that any true love a 15-year-old can feel, I feel it for/with her. I tried not to text her after this nightmare... but I couldn't really help it....I mean, I just posted this now and she hasn't texted back so I'm not going to... like assume she'll wake up for my stupidity but you know... worth a pathetic shot :/
68. I'm starting to wonder if the nightmare is just....me......
"and I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad, the dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had..."
