Hi my friends :D I know, haven't been blogging in such a long time (sorry xP I've had a lot of shBEEP going on). But, I guess I'm learning now. For starters, my friend and parents found out about my problems, and I find that its extremely ironic that today is self harm awareness day :) I honestly remember last year this same day, and now here, I am doing better, but I'm going to get help. Pinkie Promise. One of the reasons I know this for fact is because Mimi (TO EVERY ENEMY) found out about a lot of shit. Not necessarily a bad thing at all, I was just really....nervous or scared I guess. But I was even more afraid when all of the sudden, BAM, my family knows about my issues now. And so, to keep it blunt, they yelled at me for an hour, took my camera away (I love photography, and so boo), and I'll be seeing my therapist again. Not the umpa lumpa. Ick >.<
It was really hard, but now its easier. I have actually been feeling rather happy since last night, which is good, and I'm going to have a fairly great weekend :D for starters, my sister, who I'm thinking should get an account on here because she's starting to have an obsession with my chem and their music (her name is literally Hyperactive Ghost), she has a show choir competition tomorrow all day about 2 hours away :p It'll be so fun seeing them, plus I'm hoping it won't be as bad for my panicking, because not so many groups (only 16 middle school groups, not high school) therefore not as much big, loud people and such :p and then after that, I get to see my baby cousin Alexis for the first time! :'D so happy that she made it, we were all so nervous. Now just to get my other aunts to be healthy, as well as their newborns (one's due in 2 weeks, one in a month, and one in 2 months).
Anywho, I am feeling alright today. I was able to talk to Matthew last night, as well as the truth to Mimi, and my parents aren't so hard to even look at anymore. I'm still majorly depressed yes, but rescue is possible.
Which goes back to self harm awareness day. To anyone in the MCRmy, you are strong and you have hope somewhere, even if its hard to see now, it'll shine after the storm has passed. As a great man once said, “...you should never want to hurt yourself. You should love yourself. Sometimes you have to kind of die inside in order to rise from your own ashes and believe in yourself and love yourself and become a new person and I think that that is going to be a lot of what the next record is about, not to plug it or anything. Like, it's going to talk about dying and coming back to become what you totally want to become. We are all becoming what we want to become.” -Gerard Freaking Way. Oh, and I think Mimi sort of loves this quote, so just for shit and giggles: "NO MATTER WHAT ANYBODY SAYS, DON'T TAKE ANYBODY'S FUCKING BULLSHIT, BECAUSE YOU'RE BETTER THAN THEM! YOU'RE FASTER THAN THEM, AND GODDAMMIT, YOU'RE MUCH BETTER LOOKING!" again, Gerard Way <3
See, MCR is here for you, and we're all here for you, and your friends, family, teachers, and other helping adults are all there for you. I have trouble seeing that sometimes, but you know? You're awesome and loved, and better than this. You can talk to me, talk to anyone, K? *lots of fucking hugs and hula hoops*
