So yeah... we had a show choir performance today... and last night I freaked myself out about it.... well I um.... i failed. Miserably. The song was a thousand years. "Heart....beats.... fast (voice crack), colors and (voice crack) promises, how to be brave (voice cut off), how can I love (voice cut off) when I'm afraid (voice cut off) to fall (voice crack) but watching you (voice spasm I swear to god) stand alone (couldn't fucking hold the note) all of my doubt (voice cut off) suddenly goes away somehow (voice cut off),(THIS PART EPICALLY FAILED) One (voice crack) step (voice crack) cloooo(voice spasm of the day)ser...." I seriously had to hold in the tears, and I was shaking beyond imaginable. The next 2 songs I seriously couldn't fucking sing without feeling like a bag of elephant shit. And when we were done, I ran to the bathroom and... and just cried. Of course, people followed me in there, which in all seriousness, crying in front of people is worse then feeling like elephant shit....anyways. So I'll end up crying a couple more times today, guaranteed, and my friend told me this "it wasn't your fault, the mic just cut off a lot." -.- .....no it didn't. I did. Because I suck.
Which honestly doesn't give me squat for hope about tomorrow, about the competitions, or about my future in general. Now I leave to go to the bathroom.
To cry more.
....why can't I be great like my chemical romance or my friends or.... gr.
