WHY WE CRY (a blog for my depressed soldiers, i hope this helps) PART 2 AND 3

[Post edited: Please refrain from posting about self harm as it is against the rules you agreed to when you signed up for the website. Unfortunately due to serious legal issues we cannot allow posts of this nature on this website]

i start with is...words are stupid if they dont mean anything. you can give a whole fucking
speech and none of it could mean a word to you. so i'll cut the bullshit of how everything is going to get easier soon, and tell you what i actually know for sure. if thats okay.
Im not going to give you all the crap about how i promise it will get sooo much better soon. because, i dont know that for a fact. your life could just be that way.BAD. maybe you lay in ur bed thinking..what if it doesnt feel better. everybody i know will go on and have a great life and i will go and just die alone, because who would want me. and i cant wait to get away from my parents. yet..i will have no where to stay. does that mean im going to be homeless? and you start you feel scared and more depressed.
Depression is just a sign of being human. if you were never depressed...then well your in some fucked up disney channel movie. but then you read this and say..but not everyone hides themselves away...true. some is more sever. some people handle it diffrently. i went a whole 3 years hiding my depression by being really crazy and up in peoples faces acting like i didnt care what they thought. but little dod i know i was just hurting my self even more.
but of course this isnt about me. this is about you. and how do you feel right now?
you feel like shit. you have no friends. and your probably going to cut soon. understandable. you cry out of no where. listening to MCR is your way of getting though the day. you actually all day look forward to the bus ride home so you can listen to the music that is keeping you alive.
but people dont understand that. they dont even understand you. they dont take the time to. but who would. (from your point of veiw) im just a fat piece of shit. probably going to go..no where.
and then you get this idea...this could all end. in just a split second. i wont feel a thing. it will all be over. and while peacefully at rest..everybody else will relize how cruel they are and what THEY did. and that it was their fault..and nothing will ever be hard ever again..it will be over. and that idea you get in your head is..
ill just kill my self.
PART 3 is coming soon. i hope you could relate. message me if you wanna talk(:
i start with this... people have been saying things lately..not nice things. seems like all things people have to say anymore is bad. they look at you and point out the meanest things they can. its pointless really. cause im pretty sure you can look right back..and underneath..their not to pretty on the inside.
As a killjoy..do we really have to be told we're all that pretty? cause i can look at every single one of you and say..your pretty damn attractive. i can look at any other person and underneath all that makeup and botox is a black pit of ugly. who will go no further than life than being to busy staring at a mirror they get hit by a bus.
i left off saying that you think of killing yourself as a solution. how it will make all the pain go away..and it will all be over. and it will show all the people who ever did wrong to you it was THEIR fault. and it will make THEM feel like shit for the rest of their life. well let me tell you somthing...
actually im pretty sure it will let them win. because while your rotting in the ground, never accomplished and went agaisnt anything and everything MCR tryed to do for you...their going to live on. sure the 1st few months they will greif over your death and WHY you did it. but thier going to live on, going to get married, have children. and their only memory of you will be the poor girl who killed herself because things were bad at the time.
but you read this and think, well they didnt know exactly how i felt. they didnt know it was their fault. they dont know if it was ever going to get better.
but who said it was going to get worse. i didnt. they didnt. maybe you did. but you dont know for sure either.
this is the part in my blogs where im going to start to help you. where i go from reaching out and connecting and letting you know i understand..to actually helping.
Due to time and things i am not able to finish this today..but i will soon(: