you dont have to be from a poor awful house and family to be unhappy. Maybe not something other people would call "traumatic" has happened to you. but i dont think it has to. Maybe you just feel like, even though you have friends, or not, that they dont care about you. Maybe your so desperate for someone who cares about you that after a week you call them your best friend and scare them away. Maybe your so used to people leaving you, its not we'll last forever, but how long is forever. Maybe out of self hatred you've treated the only people who really care bout you bad, and lost them. And its been years and you still cant get over it. Maybe you love someone you'll never get, and you know that. You know it so much that you accept it. Maybe since you dont fit in with the popular kids, you try to fit in with the unpopular kids, the hipsters, the punks, the misfits. But either way, your still trying to fit in, so nothing gets better. Maybe they like cool older bands you;ve never heard of, but you pretend to love them, because if you cant fit in with the populars, or the unpopulars, what else is left? Maybe you look in the mirror and cry because you dont want to believe that that person staring back at you, is well, you. Maybe your upset because that other girl who you wish you friends with looks how you want to look, but your parents wont let you look that way. You tell yourself, its just being yourself. But its really not. Its being them.Maybe you'll go as far as cutting yourself, just to fit in with them. even though you dont like it and it hurts. but soon you become addicted so its ok. but you dont do it to release pain. Cause even though you like the style, its not you, its them. Your conforming, just so you can fit in with..somebody. You'll never be happy that way though. Its gonna take years to figure out what does. But life is full of that day you walk into school, and realise you have nobody you can be yourself with, because you dont know who you are. They live the wanna be you, not you. And deep down you know that. But i've been thinking lately, and maybe its worth it. Maybe all those years of being a inbetweener will pay off. Because you've gone through the hell of the uknown territory, the what i like to call, the invisable territory, because no one see's it, no one realises it, even if their in it. So, for all of you that feel like this sounds like you one way or another, maybe, we can do it. Stop trying to be something, and just be. Maybe surf youtube for random music, no t the kind they like. Try on some clothes you think are cute, not what the style your trying to be wears. Maybe you should try some things you liked as a kid, because those were the days you weren't influenced by bullshit. Maybe we should run, at night, really far, until we can think clearly enough to accept life for what it is. And not what we've been told. And what is that you ask? Well, the world is something different for every person, so lets figure it out on our own. I think we all deserve happiness, and love, and no the kind where we set the love at what we think we deserve. Because we could be wrong. We could deserve so much more, we could be so much more beautiful than we've been thinking. Its worth a shot to try out. Instead of trying to be, lets just be. And our hearts will take us there.
