So, there's this thing I can't really talk about. I can't tell my family, my friends, or anyone else I know about this thing. But I feel like I need to get it off my chest. It's starting to drive me crazy that I'm alone with this 'secret', and I feel like I have to tell somebody. So I thought this would be a good place. Everyone here is so nice and welcoming and accepting :) So, well, here goes:
I have an imaginary friend. I'm 14 years old and I have an imaginary friend. His name is Bozo, and he's awesome. He's pretty much the coolest, kindest person I know. And quite frankly, he is my best friend. Bozo's always there for me when I need him, and when no one else is there. He's there when I'm shattered, and he's there when I'm having the time of my life. I love him like a best friend.
But I feel bad about all that. Surely 14 is too old to be having imaginary friends! Surely I should have enough real friends that I don't want imaginary friends! I can't help it though. I live in my head because I feel like a freak and I've not felt comfortable with myself since I was about 11. The world around me is ugly and frightening, and I hate who I am so I retreat into my world of imagination.
I guess I'm just starting to get sick of being alone. For a long, long period of my life I was just fine being alone, but then I started letting people within arm's length. I got used to having people around. Then bad things happened and everything went back to the way it was before, with just me and Bozo and nobody else. Many months have now passed and I'm not as okay with the loneliness as I was before. I'm finding that it's quite painful this time around.
I guess that's all I want to say. Thanks for reading,
~Fried Brainies
