Stress

Flying Cupcake xo's picture

Stress

Ugh. I am actually so stressed right now.

I'm in the top Flight group (which is basically the top top group; there's normally 2 Flight groups in each year in my school) in my year, and we're taking our GCSE's next year so this year the teachers are preparing us for GCSE's this year. And because I'm in Flight and we're taking our GCSE's next year, the teachers are going to select 30-40 students from the Flight groups to go into the English Baccalaureate (EBacc) group, which gives us extra qualifications. To get in the EBacc group we have to get very good grades in English, Maths, Science, French (it could be any language other than English but our school only teaches French as a language) and History. And because the teachers are trying to see exactly which students will be good enough to get into the EBacc group next year, they're giving us tonnes of revision to do in lessons, and a shitload of homework too, and it's stressing me out.

I get Maths homework online every week, which isn't so bad I suppose. I'm getting a tonne of Science homework this week because we have our Science ISA on Friday which will contribute to 25% of our Science GCSE. Today I got about 3 pieces to be completed by tomorrow, or it's an hour detention after school. Also for Science I've got about a million words to learn the definition of, but I know quite a few so I guess that's okay. In History it's all revision, revision, revision, but no homework, so I'm not going to complain too much about that. In English, I've got the rough copy of my assessment to finish, and then the neat copy to write up, by Friday. I've missed quite a lot of French the past few weeks because for some reason my guitar lesson has always interrupted my French lesson on Mondays. It's only 20 minutes so I guess that's okay but I'm getting confused in French more, even though I used to pick it up quite easily (but we are moving onto more complex stuff now so). And we've got a presentation to do for our French homework, which we have to finish within like 3 weeks and then we've got to present it to the whole class. Which sucks, because I'm shy as fuck and get nervous speaking to a group in English, no matter French.

Don't get me wrong, I want to get into the EBacc group, but the sheer amount of work in class, revision and homework we're being set is stressing me out so much. I've got a paper round too, which takes me about an hour, and by time I've finished my paper round and homework I have barely any time left to relax or to even practice guitar.

According to my teachers I'm top of the class and I'm progressing very well this year, but the workload is really bringing me down. I'm really stressed out because I want to do well in my Science ISA and basically all my exams, but because I get nigh-on no time to myself I'm just constantly thinking about it and I can't dedicate as much time to things like music and art as I want to. The only time I can really just relax and listen to music is for about an hour before I go to bed and when I'm in bed (I hate going to sleep in the quiet or dark).

I'm trying to get my art skills up too, but that's not gonna happen because I'm so busy with everything else, and we only get an hour of art a week in school.

Sometimes I think about just taking a day off school so I can just relax and spend more time playing guitar and drawing, but then again I'd probably miss some vitally important revision so I daren't because if I did I'd probably end up having to do it after school someday or get the equivalent of that day's revision in homework.

That's life though, I suppose. I guess I shouldn't really let it get me down because it's good that my teachers are expecting me to get year 10 grades in year 9 and that I'm aiming for an A* in Science, a B in History, a B in English and a C in Maths (GCSE grades), and if I get into the EBacc group I'll have extra qualifications, but I don't see what whatever that qualification we'd get if we get into the EBacc group and pass all our exams in year 10 and 11 (I forgot to add that on earlier) would do to help me get into a band, which is the only thing I want to do with my life.

I literally don't know anything else I want to do. I'm not good enough at art to become an artist, and any other job isn't really that appealing to me. All my family and everyone at school keep telling me to stop being so tunnel-visioned and try to think of other things I want to do, but I honestly don't know. I've thought about every occupation I can think of, but the only thing I want to become is a musician.

I best stop whining and try to relax a little I suppose. I just felt the need to let it out and here is one of my favourite places to come, so. I hope you don't mind me ranting.

How has your day been?

~Flying Cupcake xo