Happiness, Sadness, Happiness, Sadness, Happiness, Sadness... Ugh.

Flying Cupcake xo's picture

Happiness, Sadness, Happiness, Sadness, Happiness, Sadness... Ugh.

I've had a really bipolar day today. In fact I'm pretty 'bipolar' all the time.

Today, for example, I woke up in a relatively okay mood. I was just like "Let's get this shit out the way so I can get back to my laptop", and when I went on YouTube looking for a Song of the Day this morning (which by the way is "I Am" by Bon Jovi), when I found it I was in a good mood. Then during my Maths exam first lesson I got really down and also in ICT. In English I was happy again, and in Ethics I was okay. At lunch I was quite sad again and then started crying in the middle of the library because of the book I'm reading right now (I get emotionally attached to like everything okay), and then in Science at the beginning I was really sad and low self-esteem and everything (we were being given our results from our ISA's... I'll cover that in another blog, maybe), and then all of a sudden I was really happy (that may have been because of my result) and then that lasted till the end of the lesson. On my way home and on my paper round I was really down again, and then when I got back I was really happy and hyper and stuff, and then about 20 minutes ago I suddenly went really tired and sad and everything, and it's lasted until now. And now I can feel this ball of energy rising inside me and I'll probably be all energetic and happy and hyper until I go to bed or something.

I've been to the doctors because my 'adviser' (I wouldn't really call him a 'therapist' or anything... he was just someone I talked to when I got wound up in school) told me to see if I had bipolar as I'd talked to him several times about me thinking I had bipolar, but the doctor said that he wasn't entirely sure so referred me to CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services... or something like that, idek), and then they said that I hadn't, but I... ugh. I don't want to say I know better than the doctors because I don't, it's just so fucking annoying that one minute I can be really happy, and then all of a sudden out of nowhere I'm miserable as fuck.

Is there anyone here who has bipolar or anything, and can tell me if idek, I have any symptoms, or if I'm just being a 'stupid little teenager' like my family says? It would be a great help to me if someone with bipolar could offer me advice. That is, if you don't mind. :3

~Flying Cupcake xo