In the morning it will all be better..

It's not what it seems in the land of dreams
Don't worry your head, just go to sleep
When you wake up the world will come around...

My eyes hurt. They hurt and they're puffy.

I finally stopped crying just about two hours ago.

My grandma called my sister when she was still at work. I didn't know that, so when my sister came home, I went to go tell her. I couldn't finish my sentence. I got caught on "My dog" and the burst into tears again. My sister actually gave me a hug. I actually cried on her shoulder. And when I pulled away and composed myself there was a pint of Ben & Jerry's with a spoon sticking in it. Then she poured me a glass of Martinelli's. She actually bought me a pint of chocolate fudge brownie ice cream and a bottle of one of my favorite beverages. She then suggested I watch a movie. I chose Beauty and the Beast. Not only is it my favorite movie of all time, but my dog also loved it. So I sat on the couch with a blanket over me, cuddling my baby blanket and my handmade Ugly Doll, ate some ice cream, drank some Martinelli's, and watched the best movie ever. It made me feel a bit better. So much better than my family calling me to ask how I'm holding up and telling me my dog wouldn't want me to be sad. I know he wouldn't want me to be. He loved being happy and seeing everyone else happy. That was what he did with his life, he made sure everyone was happy. I'll never be able to forget what he's done for me.

I know in time the pain will fade. One day I'll wake up happy without noticing the pain has gone. I know it will take time. After all, he was my baby. He was my life. Some people may think, "What the Hell? It was a dog." But he wasn't a normal dog. He was more human than anything. I swear he could speak with his eyes. I always knew what he was thinking. He was super intelligent too. I taught him left from right, and he understood Spanish as well as English. He also a very modern dog. By that I mean he loved dressing up. Lime green was his favorite color...he always chose that color ribbon for his bow after a bath. He adored his sweaters in the winter. All his favorite toys were lime green and he got so excited when he got new toys that he didn't know what to do. He was the sweetest baby you'd ever meet. He was so overprotective of everyone, but especially babies. Did I mention that he loved fire? Every time we had a fire in our yard, he'd run around the pit trying to eat the embers. So he may not have been so intelligent sometimes, but he was one of the best dogs in this world.

Ok. I need to stop now before I start crying again. I've cried for at least three hours straight already tonight, I don't think I need to do so anymore. My only plan for the rest of the night is to turn Lullaby on repeat and let Patrick's voice bring me peace as I sleep for hours. I'm not setting my alarm. I doubt I'll be going to class. However, I will still be going to dinner and to see Alice with my friends. I think it'd do me some good. Besides, we've planned it before my dog died.

(Sorry that this is my third post about this today. I'm taking it really hard.)