I am not afraid to keep on living....

I'm currently listening to Famous Last Words. It makes me want to cry. It makes me regret cutting earlier even more. It makes me feel as though they saved me two years ago for nothing, that I've let them down...but at the same time, it's like they're making what happened better.

The song just changed to Heaven Help Us. I've been away from their music too long, even though I listen everyday. I need to go back to listening to them the way I was two years ago: literally 24/7. They were with me all the time to pull me out of my suicidalness....they can do that for me again. I know it'll be a slow and painful process at first, but they can make me put away the knife again.

I've set my itunes to play only My Chem.

They will help me to find my will again.