My Resistance

"The only person you can expect anything from is your self."

The truth is - if you believe it, it is true. For you at least.
Likney said to me "28 was the year, That you know, I had to decide to grow up." She's just turned 32.
I am not there yet, but I am sure there is more to it than that.
I wonder perhaps If 28 is an age of first deepest introspection, and quiet expression.
But I am only speaking from my own head - it is all I know
- and that I adore Coca-Cola
- and that Pot assures me that I am connected to everything
But I am sure there are some truths we just can't justify or explain. They are the ones I don't know what to do with.

There are many things I just don't seem to get to know. So I just have to wait. But it would be nicer if my mind could just for a moment stop predicting things. And it would be even better if media stopped illuminating my heart. Until people start accepting me, I really would rather them not see the shadowed corners of my heart.

As a youth I knew it was going to be a long long time before I had any power in this realm. Not since High School did I ever want to be in any others. But with my peers obsessed with "the end of the world in 2012" and "the zombie uprising" I am really forced to understand that my time is quite a long time in coming. It might be closer to my elderly phase that I have a hand in guiding the wheel. Wisdom doesn't equal opportunity. As it turns out, "Sheer Bloody Mindedness" does.
Cause in the end, we all have to make our own decisions.

Until I learn to kiss my own lips, and feel myself from the outside- all I have to figure this out is the kind of artsy things I make. They provide the most excessive illustrations of my feelings - depicted in form, expressing what I can't put into words/ Body language speaks the things I can't read.

Funny thing is (Ha Ha...) that I find it easier to try and learn to communicate with creatures who do not have the confines to speak to me as another creature I can see eye to eye, hand to hand with. Some Part of my kind mind has started to fester believing that the world is broken, people are stupid, and there is no place for me here.

I am tired of people telling me I am wrong. I don't think its exactly fair for someone who is not living my existence and has for the past 27 years to comment of my thoughts and behavior patterns.

As far as I can tell, the purpose for existence is to figure out what it means to be.
"I think, therefore I am"
So we are all creatures of our own minds. All we want is to sit around a figure things out.
We're predisposed to take in all kinds of information though out senses. That's what colors our lives, making each of us unique.

I was trying to save it for someone special.
But maybe, Just maybe- this means I have