Today's just not a good day....found out I have to have a biopsy, and it's also Jimbo's birthday...

So, yeah. Today's not the best.
I went to the doctor today as a follow up appointment for a check up I had three months ago to see what this large spot on my head was. They said it was probably just a large mole, but that we should come back in three months to check up on it.
We went back today, and the doctor took one look at it, turned to my mom, and said "I think it's gotten bigger." So they measured it again, and yes, it got bigger.
That immediately shifted the entire appointment for options for how to remove the mole because apparently, it has, now that we know how to treat it, an extremely high risk of turning into a melanoma. Or in other words, become cancerous.
So I'm getting a biopsy done. And I'm scared to HELL. The biopsy is to a) double check to make sure its not already cancerous, though my doctors almost positive it's not, and b) to remove the mole.
So it's like killing two birds with one stone,because if it IS already cancerous, it's already removed. But if it's not, it's removed anyway so it doesn't have as much a risk to become cancerous.
However, if it grows back abnormally, then I have to have another surgery done.
See, I already have an EXTREME fear of needles, doctors, and anything really medically related. The reasons being one part irrational fear and one part bad experience/childhood traumas.
I'm honestly really, REALLY scared. I don't want to have this surgery done, I just....dslaifjfeiljaf. I'm going to be awake for it, too :/ Obviously it'll be numbed, but...*shudder*.
The whole concept is just really scary, and I almost fucking broke down in the doctors office T________T isn't that just wonderful.

Also, today is my grandfather, Jimbo's, birthday. He passed away this April, and I just really miss him. He was, IS, my hero, and our family is just kind of...lost. Broken without him.
I miss you, Jimbo. Love you always <3