So raw it almost hurts.

TO EVERY ENEMY's picture

So raw it almost hurts.

I have never seen my chemical romance live, unfortunately, but from the live performances I've watched, this has to be one of the best of this song.
I cry every fucking time I watch it.
Maybe its the way the video looks, or the crowd singing back to Gerard, or maybe its just the song itself (even the recorded version gives me chills), I don't know. I just love it.
This song makes me cry. No one in my family at the moment has cancer, but I do have a lot of stuff going on in my family that this song makes me think about. My grandpa having his third stroke and being told he probably won't last much longer. My mom getting more and more depressed at times. My dad being gone even more and seeming to care less and less each day. My dads cousin's death. My uncle still being jobless. My older sister being to naive and open hearted to protect herself. Me, myself, battling my own depression that no one seems to realize I have (but that's okay, because I don't want to burden them with it. Therapy didn't really help anyway, and my mom is already depressed. She really...I just couldn't do that to her.)
This song makes me think of all my friends, their own personal struggles. It makes me think of Taylor, the girl I realized I care about SO MUCH, and that I would protect with my fucking life. The girl I just want to make happy. The girl that makes me wish I could cure her of all her problems, but knowing I can't.
This song just makes me think about all of those things, but at the same time it gives me hope that things will get better.
It's a pleasant but unpleasant feeling.
It breaks my heart and puts it back together at the same time.
It makes me cry tears of sadness and tears of happiness at the same time.
This song is probably one of my favorites off of Black Parade, but the live versions. The recording is wonderful, but the stripped down, live version seems so....raw. So raw that it's almost painful.
This band....I want to thank them for making me feel like this, because a lot of the time, I don't feel at all. I repress all the bad emotions and plaster on a smile telling myself: Everything is okay, when I really know it's not.
They give me hope that things will get better.