Lately, my friend Taylor (the girl I want to be my girlfriend because she's ever too perfect and I just really fucking like her but I'm scared that I'll fuck things up if we go out with each other because I always do) has been having major, MAJOR sleep problems. She has these...nightmares, these fucking night TERRORS, and the way they affect her is just....it breaks my heart to see her so tired, so scared...she cried this morning, and I could do nothing but hug her as tight as possible. Then all throughout class, I skyped her trying to cheer her up with random and really fucking hilarious pictures of all the members of the band (one of my favorites was Mikey with a mustache photo-shopped onto his face and it says: I appreciate your argument, but check out my mustache xD) and it worked, because I almost made her laugh really loudly in her math class. Anyway, I'm getting off topic.
I want to find a way to get her nightmares to stop, so she can finally get some sleep. Once, in choir, after a particularly horrible night for her, we had free time and could do whatever the fuck we wanted, and I ran my fingers through her hair and sang her the song Sleep by, obviously, MCR. She said she'd love it if I did a cover of the song and put it on youtube, and you can bet your ass I'll do it if it helps her.
But another thing that has to do with nightmares and sleep depravity...last night, I woke up about twenty million times and could not. Go. The fuck. To sleep. Now this is normal for me, not the nightmares, but the not being able to sleep and waking up repeatedly part. I've never slept really well, and with my new addiction to coffee, that doesn't help anything. But the nightmare I had last night, though I can't remember it extremely well, was just.....gah.
I'm fuzzy on the details, but it was kinda a weird dream. It had, like....a narrator, who kinda sounded like Morgan Freeman if I'm honest, but anyway, it was like the narrator guy was telling a story and it went through and it was like....me and Taylor and the guy narrated saying that there was once a girl who had loved a man, but later became unattached from him. She found herself falling in love with a girl, and the one she loved fell in love with her. Every night they'd go see each other out in the woods, and talk and laugh and kiss and hold each other. The narration went something like that, I think.
Then my dream cut to a scene and it had something to do with my dad, but I'm not really sure, but lets just say he got super. Fucking. Angry. He got seriously pissed off and I saw from like....third person him going out onto the porch and looking around and seeing me and Taylor heading towards the woods. Then the narration came in again and it went something like:
The father saw how much his daughter loved the other girl, and he thought it was an abomination, so he took matters into his own hands.
And then it showed my dad, red faced and FURIOUS, stalking over to me and Taylor, and he grabs me by the back of the shirt, spins me around to face him, and he pushed me into the dirt. He took a knife out of...somewhere I don't friggen know, and put it against my throat. He slide the metal against my throat and my eyes went glazed over and rolled back into my head, and blood spilled out of my throat and out of my mouth. I fell back and my head hit the ground as my body twitched in the dirt. Taylor was gone. I don't know, she must have disappeared or something during that horrible image...but then my dad said in a voice, I don't know....it wasn't his voice. But he said, "You're an abomination, you don't deserve to live. Have fun in Hell." And then the dream ended and I woke up at about 3:43 A.M. That's the time it said on my phone.
It was hard for me to fall back asleep, but at around 5 ish, I finally fell asleep again and I slept until my alarm went off at 6.
Today I'm just fucking tired and I ache everywhere and I don't feel good. But I can't help but think, Taylor's nightmares are ten times worse than the one I had. I can't believe what she goes through every night.
I want to make her nightmares stop. If I could ask God or whoever is in charge of dreams out there to give me the dreams instead of her, I would, and I'd gladly take the consequences.
