I've found skeletons grow stronger when kept in the rearview

TO EVERY ENEMY's picture

I've found skeletons grow stronger when kept in the rearview

So I recently found this song, and even though it's old, it's probably become one of my favorites. It's by The Academy Is... and though they broke up a while ago I believe, they were still fantastic O_O

But anyway, the lyrics really...get to me. Especially with what I've been thinking about and feeling lately. *Warning: Angsty teenage bullshit is about to be written/read. Continue at your own risk*

I've been thinking a lot lately, and as much as I tell myself "Nope. Nope, you don't like her. You're not allowed to like her because she's gonna be with Cody. Nope. She's your best friend, she doesn't like you back." I still find myself falling head over heels over and over again for Taylor. It's just a constant cycle, I start talking to her, we'll be laughing about something totally pointless, she'll smile, and I'll fall. But instead of someone being there to catch me like in all those shitty romance teen movies, I fall flat on my face and she walks away because....well, it's just not going to happen.

I keep thinking that I'm over her, giving myself the benefit of the doubt, but really, who am I kidding? I don't think I even ever stopped liking her in the first place. I don't think I'm in LOVE with her. I don't really believe someone can truly understand what love is as a teenager (because our minds and hearts are still developing so we don't have a true definition in our heads of what we consider and what SHOULD be considered love), but I really. Really. REALLY. like her.

I've also been thinking about the past a lot, too. My dads accident. Middle school. When I was six years old and would play in the leaves in the fall and everyone was just...happy. Healthy.

Autumn makes me really nostalgic, and I don't think that's a bad thing. It's not good to block out things from your head, act like they never happened. I really regret doing that, because blocking out everything from my dads accident when I was 7 lead me to having really bad anxiety and some depression later on (and currently.)

*Sigh* I don't know. This song is just really good and I don't think I'll ever be able to put what it makes me feel down in words. So sorry for all of my incessant rambling :P

Love you guys, have a good day.

xoxo, M