I cried...

EvanBlack's picture

I cried...

.... today.... today I cried because I just can't take it. Everything doesn't make sense why am I so lost in a world were everyone can find themselves... When is my life going to get better? When am I going to be happy?

I honestly think I should give up on happiness... I can't feel it so maybe I should give up and accept that I won't ever get over this. Maybe I should just try to find away to continue on...

I wish I had fans... I wish I was a great musician... I wish I could be me... I wish life would be kinder to me and give me the skills I need to reach the rest of the world...

My heart may be bleeding but I will continue to love each and every one of you. I continue on because I know that there are other people out there who can use the inspiration to live on. I think.... maybe... maybe if I can be there for the rest of the world maybe it will get better, maybe this pain inside will end.

I just am so tired of it. Why are they so blind... why can't we live free, all of us... why do some of us have to die in fire while the rest of us live in wealth.

I am very poor and I dream of being rich.. I dream of being rich because I need the money to covert the desert here in california to a forest. Maybe even start my own city where people can come and live and be happy. People who are willing to love each other and take the time out of their day to just help one another.

I love you all, no matter what... I really do love you all. None of you may know me, but I care so much about you all and you won't ever know... I just will one day hope that you will all know me and maybe I can help some of you, and maybe even help some of the kids that will have problems like ours.

I don't want ANYONE to feel this kind of suffering. It is so tormenting.. I wouldn't even wish this on my most hated enemies yet I have to suffer with it every day... maybe I can drink it all way.... lol.. i don't even drink.