Friends... I really need someone right now...message me or something...but I am terrified and so desperate...
My fiance wants to do some type of drug, only once, to see "how it feels like." I've told him several times that I don't want him to because then I would lose all respect for him and that I would not be able to look at him the same way I do right now...I told him that if he does it, even once, I would break up with him..I know drugs destroy lives, even if done once...probably some of you did it once and got addicted and thanks to some source you are out of it now...
I am just very scared that he will be someone else and that he would get addicted...He looked at pornography once, and he was hooked for two years...
I am so sad and devastated that not even when I tell him that I would look at him differently and lose respect for him, his heart and mind is still the same. I feel like he is not scared of losing me if he did drug once...I mean, I know is something very silly to threaten someone in such way, but I really don't want him to do it because I've always said that I would never be with someone who did drugs, even if it was once...hell, I wouldn't be with anyone who even smoked! (no offense to those who smoke out there, I just think is gross and unnecessary)...but anyways, I really could use a hug right now, if possible...some type of support!
I really don't know how bad are drugs in their many shapes or forms, I've only seen and read the effects they can cause. Maybe I am naive and think only bad things about drugs...but I don't want him to be one of his friends who did it and "are the most intelligent people" he knows...is that too silly to be afraid of?
I don't want him to become a number, a statistic. I don't want him to be like his friends, who are not nearly as gentleman-y, romantic, caring for their loved ones, great Christians (again, no offense to those who don't believe)...I've always looked at him as being even better than his friends, and sometimes I wonder why is he even with them...but they are friends so I guess if he's happy then it shouldn't really matter.
He just told me that he will not do it as long as my response is the same, but I am afraid that he will do it behind my back. I trust him, but he feel really strong about his reasoning, and maybe I'm wrong and I'm just being too naive and I am worrying for nothing...but when true love is involved, you care about that person as much as you would care about your child (and I don't even have kids, but that's beside the point).
Thanks for reading this far. I really appreciate it. Love you!
~*Black Wings*~
