THIS IS CHAPTER THREE AND I AM SORRY IT TOOK A WHILE. I HOPE YOU ENOY IT AND THANK YOU TO ALL MY LOVELY READERS FOR LIKING MY STORY, YOU'RE ALL WONDERFUL. I LOVE YOU ALL. PLEASE READ AND ENJOY.
Chapter 3
The Truth Will Only Make You Care
The panic set in, sweat formed on my forehead and I began to gasp for air. My vision started to deceive me as black swirls invaded my eyes. Turning my head to look at Gerard again I noticed he was yelling beside my bed, but his voice was too far away for me to hear. I could no longer feel my arms and legs, I was completely numb which was what I had always dreamed of. I stopped breathing and fall back onto the pillow, it was all so easy. It had never occurred to me before that running away wasn’t the only escape. I closed my eyes and waited for death. I anticipated the icy cold hand of death to collect me any minute, but it didn’t. No pool of bright white light, no fires of hell, no ghostly figures, no nothing, because I wasn’t dead! I opened my eyes and they instantly spotted the oxygen mask covering my mouth and nose. They had saved me, what jerks! The only thing they had done was prolong my suffering. I heaved myself up in bed and looked around to see I was now it a real hospital room. The bed was surrounded with machines all producing high pitch beeps which irritated my ears. My eyes darted to every cover of the room and once again it was the basic bright white walls and floors. There was one door also white on the left side of the bed and the rest of that wall was made of glass. The room was massive compared to the last one. Next to the bed was a blue arm chair and sitting in the chair was Gerard. “Hey, are you alright? You should really lie back down.” He said as he stood up and gently pushed me back so my head was on the pillow again. He rested his arms on the bed rails which had been pulled up while I was out. Gerard tilted his head and looked down at me. “Why didn’t you tell me you were an orphan, I could have worked out a way to keep you away from the orphanage.” I rolled over to turn away from him again, I couldn’t face him anymore.
I listened to the soft tap of Gerard’s shoes as they made impact with the smooth hard polished floor of the room as he made his way to the other side of the bed. He crouched beside the bed and looked into my eyes. The light reflected in his eyes coursing tiny flecks of gold to dance around his black pupils. I desperately wanted to turn away from his gaze but it seemed impossible. Gerard gracefully grabbed a nearby chair and sat down. The expression on his face looked like he was trying to read my mind. “I’m waiting.” Gerard said amusingly. A pain stringed at my eyes, a pain I hadn’t felt in so long. The hot tears poured out of the corners of my eyes and I began to gasp for air. Gerard instantly stood up and forcefully shoved the bed rail down. I could feel him lying on the bed beside me and reach out his arms for me. I immediately began to fight his strong arms. I kicked furiously and irritably at the air, “LET GO OF ME!” I screamed as hot tears gushed from my eyes, soaking the pillow. “You can’t touch me, you can’t hold me! I don’t need your help!” I ranted on and as I continued to fight him he would continue to tighten his grip on me. “I’m like poison I’m a toxin, venom, contagion. I destroy everything that’s good.” I said weakly as I gave into him arm and relaxed my body. Gerard stroked the top of my head as I continued to sob. “You can’t destroy me,” were the words he whispered to me.
I had been adopted 29 times and no one had treated me like Gerard did, I could felt his care and concern as he held me. “So,” he said with a long drawn out breath, “are you going to answer my question?” It was hard to believe that he still cared for me after all I had done to him. I searched my mind for the right words to say, “If I tell you, you would then felt sorry for me, and when people start to feel sorry they start to get attached.” I took a deep breath while I continued to search for the words in my head so I would example everything two him. “If you got attached to me you would then… I know, want to adopt me or something like that.”
“But isn’t being adopted a good thing?” Gerard asked as he tightened his grip around me.
“Not for me. Every time I get adopted after a month I am back in the orphanage.” I rolled over so I could be face to face with him. “I don’t want to be adopted, it hurts too much.” I turned away from him once again and stared at a machine covered in buttons and tiny multi coloured lights. “Now can you please go?” I whispered.
“I will let go of you and I am only going to get up and sit in that chair beside you.” Gerard told me as walked and sat down in the chair. I did know what was going to happen to me but I was sure that he couldn’t… no shouldn’t adopt me, I wouldn’t let it happen. I looked up at the ceiling which was now becoming a scene too familiar to me. There was an awful feeling in my chest, it felt like small pins were bring pierced into my skin and then twist around till they impacted into my heart. I wince at the pain and know straight away what was coursing it. Gerard might have been the only person to ever care for me, he was my last chance at finally having a parent and I had just made it clear that I didn’t want him to adopt me. I was destroying my only chance at happiness. At times like this I would kill for a hug from Abigail.
Miss. Margit entered the room and graced us all with her repulsiveness and I cringed at the sight of her. She was a large woman which would have been okay but unfortunately she only wore clothes two sizes too small for her and 20 year too old for her. Miss. Margit’s hair was the oddest colour it was a mixture of burgundy, black, blond and brown. Her hair looked as though she had thrown multiple bottles of colouring in it to fight away grey hairs but there was still silver strands springing out of her head. Her hair was tied up with a rubber band and it hang down by her shoulders dead straight. Her tiny brown eyes stared into your very core and made you cold inside and her mouth was always stuck in a frown. Wrinkles were edged deeply into her skin around her eyes and on her forehead. I didn’t want to see her anymore she was as ugly as she was evil. I can’t believe Gerard had thought she was my mother. “November the hospital said I could take you back to the orphanage now. So hurry up.” Miss. Margit’s voice was colder and deader than mine and she lowered her voice as if she thought it would frighten me.
“Why do I have to go back? After all you know next month I am going to try to run away again.” I spoke in the same voice she used and I climbed out of the bed. I pulled all the blue and red wires off me and I then pulled out the IV coursing a small amount of blood to spurt out of my arm and drop on the white sheets staining them. I turned to look at Miss. Margit who had her mouth wide open in shock. “What you wanted to go quickly.” I said in a snide voice. Miss. Margit walked out of the room and I followed her. We were stepping into the elevator when Gerard came sprinting out of the hospital room towards us. I saw the tragic sadness on his face and I hoped that the elevator’s doors would shut before he could jump in but he made it. “Wait, that’s it you’re going to rip an IV out of your arm and leave without a single word?” Gerard’s voice was raised and I felt like a kindergarten bring lectured but I didn’t show that on my face. I turned my head away and pretended not to listen. “November, you must of runaway for a reason. You don’t want to be in an orphanage.” He put his hands on my shoulders firmly and shook forcefully. “I can help you, just let me.” I fought the urge to look into his eyes and instead looked down at my zipper on my hoodie. “Gosh November listen to me, I can help!” he was now screaming his words and I snapped my head up to stare up at his. In the corners of his eyes I could see tears form because he was trying to fight for me but he wasn’t getting anywhere. “Listen to Gerard, you CAN’T help me, and if you take me away from the orphanage I’m only going to end up back there and you CAN’T stop that. So walk away, once these elevator doors open just walk away.” This might have been the first time I had spoken in a caring voice while maintaining eye contact with Gerard. “You can’t possibly mean that. November please just, just…” his voice trailed off as the elevator binged and the doors opened. I pushed passed Gerard and exited the elevator behind Miss. Margit. “November, I can help you!” these were the last words I heard Gerard say before the elevator doors shut leaving me outside and him inside. “I’m helping you by doing this.” I whispered to myself.
"You know Miss November, you may have just lost your only chance at ever having someone to care for you.” Miss. Margit said with a gleeful chuckle.
“I know” I replied with a melancholy tone as I walked over to Miss. Margit’s dirt covered white station wagon. Miss. Margit was enjoying this situation too much, once again proofing how truly evil she was. I slowing blinked my eyes and allowed the cool tears to run out of my eyes and down my cheeks. I wanted him to adopt me so badly… I needed someone to love me so badly. I climbed into the station wagon and smeared my tear across my face as I tried to wipe away the consistent flow of fluids coming from my eyes. As we drove away from the hospital Miss. Margit suddenly decide to speech to me without her cruel tone in her voice. “I always hated you November, I love children like Abigail but I always hated you. “ At first I was shocked by her words and I wanted to knock her out but then I noticed the sincerity in her voice and I then began to listen carefully. “You’re rude, ungrateful, angry, insulting, irritating. I could go on but then I would have to use some bad language and I would prefer to not teach you those words. Anyway you may be all those things but November underneath all that grime, hatred and hurt you own the most beautiful heart of gold I have ever seen. That is why I hate you, you hide all your feelings away but I have seen you with Abigail and I know that you love her and I know you care for that man and that’s why you won’t let him in.” Miss. Margit stopped and I wondered where she had been hiding her heart for all these years. “Anyway,” she said in her usually cruel voice “I have to punish you and I am telling you know that you are never going to manage to run away again.” She paused to collect her thoughts, “You’ll have to clean the orphanage every day at 5 am, so it is clean before I wake, and you will also be in charge of cooking breakfast, lunch and dinner for everyone at the orphanage.” I opened my mouth in shock there was 47 kids at the orphanage and the building was trashed every day by those 47 little terrors. I was doomed. “Are you kidding me I can’t do all that.” I yelled at her in frustration.
“You can and you will, you have run too many times and you are going to do what I say till your eighteenth birthday. Till then you are my slave November. Well unless…” her voice trailed off with a slight giggle.
“Unless what?” I yelled back even more frustrated.
“Unless you get adopted but you just stuffed up your last chance at that didn’t you?” Miss. Margit began to laugh wickedly and I felt like screaming but instead I decided to channel my anger in a positive way. I sat up straight and put on my best polite girl voice on. “Oh Miss, you hate me because of my heart of gold well I hate you too. Do you want to know my reason why?” Miss. Margit stopped laughing and with a smile said “And what’s that?”
“I hate you… because you’re a fat cow. Oh, and you’re a heartless witch, I would’ve used some bad words but I don’t want to teach you those words.” I said with a smile on my face as her smile dropped into a frown.
“And for that November you are now going to clean all the window inside and out on Sunday.” Her smile returned to her face and I sat back in my seat knowing I had just lost. I just sat there for the rest of the trip holding back my anger, I had nothing left to tell her anyway the only people I wanted to talk to were Abigail and Gerard but I would possibly never see Gerard again, and that hurt the most.
